Why do I blog? Rethinking it all

My parents were in town this weekend, and my dad took the photo below of me! go dad! love that man.

 Hey lovely blogging friends!
I can't believe I am heading into my LAST week of finals as a college undergraduate student today!!! WOOOHOOO! I graduate college in 5 days you guys. 5 DAYS! I can't believe it. It is starting to feel real. I think it will feel more real once I get done with all of these darn final exams and papers, ugh! I just want this term to be over already! I feel like it's dragging on and on...one more week Jess, you can do this! I could use some prayers on motivation and strength for this week, as well as the peace that only Jesus can give me, thanks guys!

 This may be kind of random, but lately I have been dealing with some doubts and frustration with my whole blog name and theme. As much as I absolutely love writing about Jesus and having my blog centered around Him, lately I have been in a phase where I just can't stop re-thinking it all. I've been doing the whole "maybe I should have done this instead," thing. I've been asking God stuff like, "Well maybe I should have called my blog just jessicalynnmartin? or something more modern that won't scare away non-Christians and make them think I'm try to preach too hard? Or maybe I should atleast delete the page on my blog that talks about why it is called the name that it is called? Or call it something more fun and less serious like 'keepitpink?' okay, you get the point. I've pondered if I really like the name 'forever convinced,' and I've asked myself how far this blog could really go with a Christian influence to it. There's been a lot of doubts, fears, and frustration.

Truth is, if I ever were to change my blog name {which I likely never will unless I came up with something new that I truly felt like God was calling me to use} my blog would be boring as ever. I would talk about things like food, fashion, and other stuff that may be interesting yes, but without Christ at the center of it, it would be nothing. Without Jesus in my life, my life is boring, lame, and I have no purpose. So why the heck would I even consider re-naming this blog? This blog has gotten as far as it has by God and God alone. I could see this blog one day becoming a business for some type of ministry Jesus calls me to do. That would be awesome, I should probably start praying for that. Cheaaaaaaaa boiii.

Thankfully as well in the midst of my frustration and re-thinking this whole Christian blog thing lately, I came across a FREE E-book recommended to me by my lovely new blogging friend Leah called "Called to Write, Biblical  Truth for Authors and Bloggers." Friends, this book is beyond encouraging. If your a Christian blogger I highly recommend that you read it, especially if you have been feeling discouraged at all lately in your blogging and are reconsidering not blogging about Jesus anymore. This book talks about how God truly calls each one of us to the blogging scene to write for Him, and if we give this space in our lives completely to Him, He will use us in magnificent ways to glorify His kingdom! This book is FREE on the kindle app! Hurry up and get it because I am not sure how long it will be free for! *holler!*

The book is available in these two places:
Amazon: Click to open expanded view Share your own customer images Called To Write, Biblical Truths For Authors and Bloggers [Kindle Edition]
Smashwords

Do you guys ever struggle with doubting the Lord's hand in your blogging and through the writing that you dedicate to Him? Do you sometimes desire to make your blog a little bit more about 'you' and less about God? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, you guys know I am a good listener! haha. Love you guys! :)

xo
 

Here are a few more pictures from the weekend! my mom and dad in the photo below- aren't they the cutest?! I was so happy to have them in town this weekend!!

my brother and I in the photo below! Do you guys think we look anything alike?! haha. We always either here a for sure yes, or that we don't look anything alike at all.

here is me below, just chilling on a staircase on campus. No big deal or anything...:).

"skinny" chocolate chip cookies! YUMM!

Hey guys! For those of you who don't know, about a year and a half ago I lost 50 pounds, and I have kept off all of the weight since! {You can read my weight loss story HERE) You may be thinking: "Did she stop eating or something?" Heck no! This girl loves food probably more than anyone you'll ever meet.

Well then how did I do it you ask?

My answers: first thing: portion control!
second thing: lots of prayer and God's help!
It's all about how much you eat. Not what you eat, how much of what you eat. That is my philosophy and I am never letting it go! Yes, working out is AWESOME and definitely contributes to losing weight and maintaining it, but I truly believe it is 80% what you eat and 20% working out when it comes to losing weight.

So today I wanted to share with you a "skinny chocolate chip cookie recipe" that I make all the time, that I found via Eat Yourself Skinny, one of my favorite healthy eating bloggers! I have literally made these babies 20 times!
They only have 48 calories per cookie, taste just as normal as any other chocolate chip cookie, and are a GREAT way to satisfy your sweet tooth cravings for only a little bit of calories! YUM<3
I put the new camera to work as I was making these, what do you think of the pictures? I am having SO much fun with photography, guys! You have no idea.

Servings: 48

Serving Size: 1 cookie 

Calories: 30

Fat: 1.2 g

Carbs: 4.8 g

Fiber: 0.2 g

Protein: 0.3 g

Here are your ingredients:
2 Tbsp salted butter, softened

2 tsp. vegetable oil

1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/8 tsp. table salt

1 large egg white

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 tsp. baking soda

3 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips, about 1/2 cup

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.  In a medium bowl, cream together butter, oil and sugar.  Add vanilla, salt and egg white; mix thoroughly to combine.  In a small bowl, mix together flour and baking soda and stir into batter.  Add chocolate chips to batter and stir evenly to distribute throughout.

Drop 48 half-teaspoons of dough onto one or two large nonstick baking sheets, leaving a small amount of space between each cookie.  Bake cookies until golden around edges, about 4 to 6 minutes and cool on a wire rack.  Enjoy!

dreaming BIG with God on our side

Hey guys!!!!!!
Your probably wondering why I sound unusually overly excited today. Well actually that's a lie, I am always overly excited to write to you guys on here, but today there DOES happen to be a little something-something I am excited to share with you guys today. I have FINALLY purchased my new Canon 60D camera!!!! It is so wonderful and beautiful. I absolutely love it to pieces. I can't even look at my iPhone pictures anymore. haha, okay that may be kind of dramatic but it is mostly true. I can still look at them, but can I compare them? No way! This camera far outweighs any other camera I have EVER experienced using before. I can't believe it is mine, what a blessing! Thank you Jesus. The pictures that this thing takes...my heart is happy.

The only problem: I have absolutely, no idea what I am doing. Aperture? Shutter Speed? ISO? I don't care just help me take a pretty picture with a blurred background effect, duh! Pretty sure out of nowhere the camera started beeping and I had no idea what was going on. Yeah, its pretty entertaining watching me with this thing. But I am determined, and EXCITED to learn how to use this thing. That is all that matters right?! :)

Anyways, wow I am so happy you guys enjoyed my vlog yesteday! I was seriously thrilled reading all of your lovely comments. I honestly was worried that none of you were going to watch my vlog or that you would get too bored with me to watch the whole thing. I can't believe you guys actually watched it AND liked it! That makes me so happy! As for making more vlogs in the future, I would absolutely love to! Like I said, this gal is a communication major. She LOVES to connect with others! If I were to make another vlog, perhaps there is a topic you would want me to vlog about specifically? or would you guys just want me to vlog like the way I did yesterday? lemme know! :) you guys rock.

I want to encourage you guys today to not give up on any new desire that God has placed on your heart. Right now I am pretty overwhelmed with understanding how to use this camera. I am so passionate about photography and God has already given me a vision of what I want my pictures to look like, but it is just a matter of being patient and trusting in His guidance in helping me to understand how to use this thing exactly. It is going to take time. I know I am going to get frustrated a lot of the time. But since God is behind this passion of mine, I'm never giving up. When we feel God's presence in a new dream we are pursuing, we immediately become more confident in pursuing that dream. It's pretty awesome.

"Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3

I am really learning the concept of seeking God first as I venture into the world of understanding how to use this new camera as well. If I tackled my new camera head-on, without pursuing my relationship with God first, my camera would become my idol and I would fail miserably in ever understanding how to use it, let alone my passion for photography would likely disappear without God behind my dream.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33

So yeah. Dream big my lovely friends, but make sure to keep your relationship with God a priority in pursuing your dreams.  I can't tell you how many times in the past I slipped up when I pursued a new dream God had given me. I let the excitement of pursuing the dream take God's place in my heart, and the joy that I once had for my dream disappeared as my relationship with God too. Pray that God will give you the patience and confidence to keep pursuing that dream He has placed onto your heart, and that you will always make Him a priority in your new dream. Photography isn't my full time job or anything, but it is a hobby I am partaking in and that I know is going to become a bigger part of my life. We don't have to quit our jobs or school to pursue our dreams, sometimes our biggest passions and joys come from those little things we do that fill up the BIG places in our hearts. What new dreams are you guys pursuing right now? Has God put any exciting new desires on your heart recently? I'd love for you to share with me! I love hearing this stuff, but I think you already knew that. :)

I love you guys!

<3 Jess

I made a VLOG for you guys today!

Hello there lovely friends!
Yes, you read the caption right. Today I decided to vlog. Why you ask? because I am a communications major and I'm all about connecting with you guys in any way I can, obviously! ;). I hope you enjoy it, I promise it's not too long at all! Just sharing with you guys a couple of quick verses and saying hello in "real life."
I love you guys!

<3 Jess

Guest post: my girl Katie from Nepal!

Hello lovelies! I am absolutely thrilled to have my good friend Katie up on the blog today for a guest post! Katie blogs over at Hope Engaged, and you can check out her wonderful page HERE! {You should go give her a visit, and tell her that I sent you!} Katie is currently living in Nepal with her husband {they are the cutest couple EVER, read their love story!} where they work at an aftercare home with girls who have been rescued out of trafficking. Katie is a dear friend of mine, and an absolutely sweetheart! her heart for God is so inspiring to me, and I am so thankful for my friendship with her! Katie, I hope one day we are able to meet in "real life," but until then, may our blogging friendship continue to be the major blessing that it already is! Take it away sista! Love you!

-Jess

Hello dear readers!
I feel so thankful to get to share on Jessica's blog today, isn't she just awesome?

I'm Katie and currently my husband and I are living in Nepal and working at an aftercare home that works with girls who have been rescued out of trafficking.
Oh wait, you might ask...where the heck is Nepal?

 don't worry...I wondered that too just about 6 months ago...
you see, Kev and I had NO idea we would be moving to this beautiful country 6 months ago.
so today, here's the story of God's epic plan for two very ordinary people....

When Kev and I got married two years ago, we knew we wanted our marriage to matter.
for our marriage to be a ministry that loved and blessed those around us.
we also knew that sometime before we had kids, we wanted to live and serve abroad.
shake things up a bit:)

we lived in Southern California and both worked full time.
since the Bible says "love thy neighbor" we decided that meant that we really needed to love, care and mostly KNOW our neighbors.
so with some courage we moved into a a low-income, immigrant neighborhood,
and in short, fell in LOVE with our neighbors!

we held Bible studies in our home, weekly meal nights, and even hosted a VBS for the kids!
but in the back of our minds, still continued to pray about moving abroad.

so...this past December we up in Northern California visiting my family,
when all of a sudden some family friends approached us and asked if we'd consider moving to Nepal.
Ummm.....what?
I had always had a place in my heart for girls who had been trafficked, but what could I really do?
Neither Kev or I were counselors and we wondered how moving to Nepal would help these girls?
We were just ordinary people.

But...it turns out that what this aftercare home really needed was some people
to help create a sustainable infrastructure for the home.
Create protocol and procedures,
write manuals,
work on the accounting and financial systems etc.

Well it just so happens that for the past 6 years I've worked at non-profits,
creating policies and procedures, writing manuals and creating structure.
And it also just so happens that for the past six years Kevin has been working in accounting and creating and maintaining financial systems for a business he's run.

so...um....well, maybe we were qualified.
Like I couldn't really BELIEVE that the exact skills they needed,
were the ones God had been equipping us in and we didn't even know how these simple skills would be able to be used for service in the kingdom of God!
wow!
jaw just dropped.

it reminded me of Jesus taking the loaves and fish
simple, ordinary food items,
and doing something extraordinary with them!
like, um, well...feeding 5 freaking thousand people.



Richard Sterns, in his book The Hole in Our Gospel says this when speaking about this parable of Jesus feeding the 5 thousand,

"Can you see the real miracle at work here? Confronted with an overwhelming problem, Jesus did not ask the disciples to do the impossible. He asked only for them to bring to Him what they had.
He then multiplied the small offering and used it do the impossible."

I think we all have something So beautiful to learn from this parable...
God can USE US, because he takes ordinary things and multiplies them!!

whatever gift, talent, skill you've been given,
no matter how ordinary,
God can take and use in the most EPIC of ways!

hello, that's pretty awesome right people?!?!?

But that means we MUST give God what we have,
extend our very lives to the Lord.
He can't use what we don't give him.

and I guarantee, absolutely, that if you hold out every gift he's given you with open arms,
 He will take you on an adventure!
Because guys, God is just wild and crazy!
He certainly has taken Kev and I on the craziest most epic adventure we could imagine!!!

much love today sweet friends! I can't wait to meet each of you, so please come over to my blog and say hello!
much love from Nepal,
Katie

my confession to God: I'm no better than them

“But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God,  who goes before you looking for the best places to camp, guiding you with a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day."
Deuteronomy 1:32-33

I remember reading this chapter in Deuteronomy awhile back and thinking to myself: "Wow, the Israelites were horrible believers! I am so much better than them!" Thankfully today I am able to understand that I am just like these stubborn Israelites, who doubted God and often desired to figure their lives out on their own, apart from God.

Over the weekend, believe it or not, I was beginning to waver a little bit again in trusting God to provide for my future. "God, help me to trust you! I believe in you God, but help me overcome my unbelief!" These were some of the things I was talking to God about. I was beginning to look at my circumstances with a human perspective, and my mind was drifting away from the present.  My problem is that I want an answer to everything right away. I don't like things to be up in the air, at all. Even when God clearly tells me what the answer to my question is inside my heart, I still have a problem with waiting without a tangible answer to my question. Geez Jessica, get it together. haha. But seriously ;)

Anyways, I pulled out my journal when I was going through this period over the weekend where I was doubting God. I was honestly just plain annoyed with myself. I had to be crazy, didn't I? God had just answered one of my BIGGEST prayers, yet already I was beginning to become fearful of the future again and overwhelmed with the obstacles I saw ahead of me. What is wrong with me Lord, How could I possibly be doubting you again?  I then opened my journal, and I started reading something I had written about a week ago on the night where I had been really upset with God about not finding someone to live with this summer and next year. It was the night where I had nearly lost all hope. After reading this in my journal,  I closed it right away and told God that I was sorry. Even on that night a week ago when I was faithless, God still was faithful to me and answered my desperate prayer to Him the next day! That night a week ago I was full of tears and losing hope, and God answered my prayer and filled my heart with joy, the NEXT DAY. The fact that I was actually doubting Him again was laughable!

So yeah, this is actually pretty embarrassing sharing this with you guys on this post that I already have doubted God so soon after He provided for me and responded to my prayer. I'm just a girl in desperate need of His grace, and I am so thankful He chooses to still love me and be faithful to me even when I doubt Him and let my fears control me. God is good, friends! What scares you guys the most about the future? How is God helping you to conquer your fears and stay strong in His plan for you? I'd love to hear! :)

I don't know what you are currently going through, but I do know that God desperately wants to step in and allow for you to let Him do His thing. It's a little awkward at first, you know, not being in control of your life. {I mean clearly, look at me!} But after awhile, you kind of just get used to it, and simply just "sit back, and enjoy the ride." Although I still struggle with being comfortable with God in control of my life, I am making progress! and that's a beautiful thing.

 It's a big and scary world out there friends, and I am thankful to have God as my security blanket, my guide to life,  and my peace that always goes with me.

xo, I love you guys!

blog friends are the best friends!

Hello friends!

Today I am doing a link up with one of my good blogging friends Cassie, who blogs over at Sage. {You should head on over to her blog HERE and tell her hello for me!!} The link up is centered on what God is currently teaching me, and right now He is most definitely teaching me to give up all of my worries, fears, and uncertainties about the future up to Him. He is teaching me that this is a constant practice that I need to be doing in my life, and not something that I need to be working on every now and then. {It's been a interesting learning experience for this control freak, to say the least!}

I don't know when it happened, but about a few weeks ago I began to feel very overwhelmed with my circumstances. I began to take care of my problems on my own, in fear of the future and not knowing what was next. I wasn't giving up all of my cares and anxieties up to God at all. This led me to forgetting my most important relationship in my life: with Jesus. I began to forget how important this blog is to me and how much I cherish all of the blessings that have come through pouring my heart into it.

I just wanted to give a very important shout-out to the each of you: my wonderful, amazing, super-cool, blog friends! You guys, are the reason why I blog. I mean obviously Jesus is at the heart and center of it all, but it is honestly the community that I have grown to be apart of through this blog that inspires me the most to keep blogging. I am always so encouraged when I talk with the each of you and read through your comments.

    It all makes sense, doesn't it, why I love blogging so much? As human beings, relationships with others bring us the most happiness in our lives. It isn't in all of the money and fame, it's in how we love and connect with others.  God designed us that way, to have a desire for building friendships with others.  Friendship is such a beautiful thing. Once we come to love God, He brings beautiful new friendships into our lives. I am entirely certain that this blogging community I have become a part of is the same kind of thing.

Today at church, my pastor talked about how God calls us to love and serve specific groups of people, in our own special way.  My blog came to my mind as one of the areas of my life that I feel God has called me to do this. It amazes me how so many of you guys blog about things that I am easily able to relate with, or are in similar situations that I have experienced recently.  It's very encouraging. I didn't know that God had any intention to use blogging as a way to build friendships with others! There is no doubt in my mind that God placed us all into this blogging community intentionally. I hope that one day, we could all meet together as a large group. What an amazing experience that would be. {I think I'll start praying about it now! :)} Until then though, I am so happy we have this blog as a way to connect and grow with one another.

"A Friend loves at all times."
Proverbs 17:17

So cheers to you, my blogging friends. You all are the reason why I love this whole blogging thing so dang much. If we haven't gotten to know each other very well, tell me more about yourself and why you started blogging! I'd love to get to know you better!

Here are some pictures from my weekend {lots of laying in the sun, and I painted my nails one of my favorite Essie colors!}