When giving isn't easy: convicted

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giving. Giving is a beautiful thing, and makes many of us feel so good inside when we give away our things to others. We say things like, "It is better to give than to receive!" But, do we really mean that? Do we really understand that concept? I know that I certainly thought I did, until very recently when God made it clear to me in that I had a lot to learn in this area of my life.

I received a large sum of money after graduating college. I'll be honest with you guys, not one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind was to give away any of my money to God at church. The past 4 years in college, I haven't given away hardly any money at church, simply because I wasn't making or receiving any. After being a broke college student for the past 4 years, I was thrilled at the fact that I finally had so much money and also that I would also be beginning to make money next year as a teacher.  I was dreaming of new blog designs (obviously), vacations with the family, shopping sprees at all my favorite stores, and many more, all for me and only me. But giving the best of everything I received to God? never.

Then last night I felt this compelling drive on my heart to give. I cried out to God, "God, where is this coming from?! Why didn't you put this on my heart as soon as I received the money? why now? this is too much for me Lord." God simply responded and told me: Jessica, I want you to give me the best of what you receive, so I can bless you beyond measure. I then realized that I am exactly EXACTLY like cain in the book of Genesis. I asked God to forgive me for not having the immediate reaction to give away my best of my earnings to Him. In Genesis chapter 4, Cain and Abel both bring offerings to God. Abel gives God the "fat portion" of his earnings, otherwise known as the immediate first and the best of what he has received. Cain however, gives to God, but does not give his first and best fruit. Cain began to self-serve and hoard the fruit of his existence, just like me.

 God doesn't want my money, or my fancy clothes, or anything else of this world that I can so easily make into an idol. God only wants the best of everything that I receive because He sees that if I either don't give away the best of what I receive or give away something half-heartedly and not in full of what I am called to do, I am serving other things besides God. Yes, God wants us to give and bear fruit so we can stay aligned in our relationship with Him. When we give my friends, we can be sure there are BIG blessings in store for us. I feel so much better today after realizing how important it is for me to give the best of what I earn to God as I begin to make money in the real world.

I love you guys! I hope you have a beautiful day

love always, Jess