Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Carry me, Lord

This morning after getting ready for the day, I began to read my devotional and talk to the Lord about what is going on in my life lately. To put things plain and simple, I feel overwhelmed. So much is going on with every area of my life. It's not that I don't like being so busy, because I do, but sometimes its just too much to take on. Sometimes, I find myself becoming anxious and depleted, and wanting to give up. 

It's in these depleting moments that I am reminded that I am not supposed to be doing any of this on my own. This life is not about me, and it never will be. It is about living for Jesus, and learning more about His unconditional love for me more and more every day. This year, I have one very specific goal that I hope to accomplish. I want to become closer to Jesus than I have ever been in my life, and I want to know completely how wide, deep, and never-ending His love is for me. Jesus, in your name, I pray that you would make that goal happen. Help me to know you like that Lord.

Teaching two college freshman public speaking classes, graduate school, new friends, scary new circumstances that make me comfortable yet excited, new challenges, being out of my comfort zone, 15 page papers, nights without a lot of sleep, worshipping Jesus on a Friday night with over 20 people...I think that about sums up my life lately. It has been exciting, scary, fun, overwhelming, and honestly a lot of the time too much for me to take on my own. I feel Jesus asking me every morning: "Jessica, will you let me carry you today? Because You can't make it without me."

My favorite song right now is a song called "Carry me" by Josh Wilson. It is my favorite song right now mainly because this is exactly the phase of life that I am in. I desperately need the Lord to carry my burdens, every minute of the day. Sure this something that I will need the Lord to do for my entire life, but right now especially, I need it more than I ever have. So much is going on in my life, and theres no way I can do any of it without my savior carrying me every step of the way. 

"Carry me, Carry me now,
From my sinking sand, to your solid ground,
The only way your ever going to make it out
Is if you carry me, carry me, now,
God carry me, carry me now."

"Search for the Lord and for His strength;
continually seek Him."
1 Chronicles 16:11

post signature

Sunday, November 10, 2013

How God healed me.

Hi friends! How are the each of you doing?

Lately, I can't help but overflow with joy as I think about God as my personal healer. The Lord has healed me from so much, and He continues to do so every day. Every scar, every wound, every painful memory...God has healed me from it all and has blessed me with a beautiful life. 

As I was thinking about all of this though, I realized to myself that God could never be my healer if I didn't give Him the opportunity to come into my heart and bind up the broken pieces. The beautiful thing about a relationship with Jesus is that it is that God gives us free will. God loves us enough to give the each of us the opportunity to make our own personal decision if we want to let Him heal our hearts or not.

This summer God healed my heart in a very big way. He revealed to me that a large portion of my heart was still in pain due to the fact that I hadn't forgiven an old friend from my past. I remember one day in the summer specifically, when I was volunteering at the humane society, throwing a ball for one of the dogs there to chase after. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, God spoke silently into my heart: "It's been over 5 years Jessica, and you still haven't forgiven this old friend from your past. Please, let me inside this door in your heart that has been locked up for far too long. I will heal you."

"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

I was hesitant at first when the Lord first spoke this into my heart, but at the same time I knew it had to be done so that I could be set free. As I watched God work through my brokenness through the rest of the summer, I was amazed at how He was able to restore my heart and heal my brokenness in such a short period of time. 

Today my friends,  I encourage you to lay down every area of your heart to the Lord. No matter how long you have been holding onto your pain, just give it all up to Him. There is no limit to what God can do. He loves you and cares for you so much, and He wants nothing but the best for you in your life. Jesus is always greater than anything we have gone through, and because of Him, we can hope for a better tomorrow.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."
1 Peter 5:7