Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Single Girl talk: My desire for a Godly man

As I begin this post I am already noticing it is a bit of a struggle to write. I'm trying to piece together how I feel bit by bit about this whole being single stage of my life, and its a complicated mess. I don't know how it happened, but somehow not too long ago I got out of the habit of being completely honest on what I write about on my blog. Not that I was lying to the any of you, but instead I was covering more things up in my life. I was making things seem a little too perfect than they really were. I told myself that if a post was a struggle to write, then I shouldn't write it. The enemy wants us to think that our struggles are shameful, when in fact, they are beautiful. When I share my struggles and I am open with others I feel so much better. Because lets be honest, life gets hard, and we all have problems. I'm realizing that it is OKAY and also extremely therapeutic to share what I am struggling with. I just love knowing that are many of you who have either felt as I have or are feeling the same way right now in your lives. I was so encouraged by all of your kind comments on my post yesterday and I truly enjoyed reading every single one of them, thank you so much! I feel so loved and extremely blessed that I have been able to meet such amazing people through blogging. Blogging has become such a big part of my life, and I am so thankful that Jesus has provided this special outlet for me.

 However yesterday I still felt a burden on my heart about being single, and I didn't know what to with it. Was it sinful to feel the way that I did? (Absolutely not, but I found myself thinking that to myself anyway). Is this a huge slap in the face toward my relationship with Jesus to have this desire inside of me? Do other followers of Jesus have this desire inside of them before they actually meet their husband? Isn't this need NOT supposed to be here? Shouldn't I feel 100% complete in God with no desire for anything else but Him in my life before I get married? After all, that is the type of advice for single Christians that I have read and heard so much about in the past.  "You just gotta reach that point where God is enough, then your man will come!" is what people typically say. Or they say: "Your future man will come when you least expect it, when your eyes are primarily focused on the Lord!" and of course the: "Jesus is your husband!" phrase. The thing for though is that none of that advice really ever has helped or let alone made me feel better. Jesus is already enough for me, I love Him with every ounce of my being. I feel Him with me everywhere I go. I have no doubt that where I am in my life is where He wants me to be. However Jesus has placed something in my heart secondary to Him that is undeniable. It is an overwhelming, flaming desire to be married one day to a man who loves the Lord. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." 
Psalm 37:4

Aha! It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. So this verse tells me that God knows this desire in my heart is there. In fact, it was given to me by him. I am not a crazy person!! God is aware of this desire, and unless for some reason He decides to take it away, He plans on blessing me with this desire, at the point in which I am ready to receive it.

"So uhhhh God, what the heck am I supposed to do with this desire until you bring it into my life? It could be ten years down the road till I meet my future husband! I hate to sound negative because I know your 100% positive, but are you like trying to make me go crazy over here? I am 10 seconds away from freaking out.."

Then God (just in time!) ever so clearly said to me in his soft, gentle, undeniable voice:

What I want you to do with this desire I gave you Jessica is begin to love your future husband now, as in today. If in the future if I take this desire off of your heart, then so be it. But for now, I have placed it there for a reason. It is not good for man to be alone, and two are better than one. It is a beautiful desire to have, and it is never something that you should be ashamed of. Absolutely NEVER deny this desire. If I remove it from your heart, you will know and it will be clear to you. It is not rocket science. Let this desire grow in your heart and preserve it. Share your struggle in being patient for me to bring it into your life, and seek me above all else as I continue to direct and guide you in your life.

ps- stop over thinking things and just relax. But seriously your mind sometimes girl.  C-h-i-l-l.

Love always, your heavenly father.

okay maybe I imagined God saying that very last sentence about wanting me to "c-h-i-l-l," but everything above that I truly did hear the Lord say to me. The holy spirit spoke through me right then and there, and I felt like I had just received the perfect answer that I needed to hear from God about waiting on my future husband.

So my friends, today I feel so much better knowing that this desire was put on my heart from God and God alone. He is in fact not torturing me, but instead He plans on blessing me with a future husband one day in the future. Unless plans change and I find myself desiring things other than a husband one day, then I can't wait for that beautiful day when I meet my future husband face to face (or maybe we already have?!) Until then, there is some things that I know I need to work on from here. I am clearly not ready to meet my future man, or he would sitting here right next to me. I want to make myself a better woman of God from this point on, and I want to get to know Jesus in the deepest way that I can. I want to reflect on the amazing way my father has created me to be as a woman. I also definitely do not just want to act like my future man is dead until the day we meet, I want to live out my life daily of honoring and thinking of him. I'm excited to learn more about becoming a noble wife as I grow in Christ, and also to move on in life WITH this desire kept snug in my heart, without denying it or looking at it shamefully.

I love you guys! Did you ever find yourselves wondering where your desire for a future husband came from? Did you ever consider it to be "wrong" and that you should ignore it and shove it to the side? How are you preserving and honoring that desire in your heart today?

Love always, Jess

Ps- My blog's Facebook page is could use some love from you guys! Click HERE to like Forever Convinced on Facebook!


  1. I try daily to do all of this and I pray and heck I even break down to the Lord and will be in tears. But still it's there. I know he's in control and always will be.

    would love to hear from you.

  2. Jessica,

    I'm a fairly new follower, but felt like I should comment. I think it is quite the opposite of sinful to feel incomplete as a single person. God made us to be together and while it is important to feel complete in yourself, when you do find the right person to be with, you will feel even more complete... like two halves of a whole. In the meantime, let God fill that other half. Best of luck!

    1. Hey Krissy, thanks for your sweet comment! I do now realize it is definitely not "sinful" to feel a desire for a man, but I felt like God wanted me to make that clear with everyone on here because there are sadly MANY girls who think that it is! Thanks for your advice anyway though! :)

      Love always, Jess

    2. Hello, My Names are Sabrina Morris, I am from Marion Iowa, This is a testimony about a Spell Doctor named Great Malawi via, that restored my hope and gave me reasons to love my life again. It was my first time to order for a spell or spiritual help because I don’t believe in them; my religion forbids spells or witches. I had no choice than to connect with the Great Malawi when my Husband-To-Be and my Baby Father left me because he was sleeping with my friend. I tried everything possible to win him back physically but he resisted all my efforts until I decided to go spiritual, but I needed higher power that’s why I connected with the Great Spell Cast of Malawi. He proved to me that his spell is not evil and it’s 100% genuine and last for eternity. He was an angel to me and my family during the process of the spell until he finally brought my Baby back as promised. He told me that my Baby’s spirit was distracted towards me and the world, so he called back his spirit and made him remember who he really is and how we started and also the promises he made to me and our child.The Great Malawi is a savior of our time and we should all benefit from his spiritual gifts. Thank you the Great one for giving me my own testimony. He will help you find the man or woman of your dreams if you try him. Connect with him via

  3. Thanks for becoming a follower of my blog! =) I honor my desire to be a wife by writing love letters to my future husband... it helps on special holidays or when I'm especially lonely + I think it will be simply amazing to give them to my guy on the night before our wedding. I don't think a desire to be married should be ignored, but at the same time I don't think it should become so all encompassing that we ignore the present & put all our "other" dreams on hold until that day when we've got a ring on our finger. His timing is perfect, even when we don't think so! Thanks so much for sharing your words on this! They're amazing!
    Here's a link on my "single" blog I think you might like:

    1. Hi Bess! I have been reading through your single girl blog and it has been such a blessing! It gives me even more motivation and courage to wait on my future husband. Thanks so much for sharing me your blog. I love it. It means a lot, and its blog friends like you that I am thankful for!

      Love jess

  4. Dear Jessica, thanks for sharing it. Sometimes it is difficult to wait on God for the things that we want or need.

    It has being hard for me to wait and wait. I want to be married. When I am bringing my concerns to the Lord again and again, I grow tired of waiting. It soon begins to feel like my prayers are falling on deaf ears.

    So, thank you for this post I really needed this today!

    Love ya


  5. This is so awesome! And true--it's okay to desire a Godly husband! and you're so right, God's timing is perfect, and He will lead you and show you who He has made for you when it's right :)

  6. I find myself asking those questions to myself all. the. time. I often wonder if I'm going crazy wanting to be in a relationship, if I'll ever be in a relationship, and if my dreams will ever become reality. But thank goodness for God's interventions and perfect timing! His timing IS perfect and it's little conversations like that that I have with Him that remind me that He is good in ALL circumstances (even the not so great ones). :)

    p.s. I loved when you said that struggles are beautiful and meant to be shared. We need more girls like you in the world! Seriously, we do. :)

  7. Wow thanks so much Kiki for literally bringing the biggest smile to my face! It always lift my mood to hear words like that. You are wonderful and such a bright light for The Lord! Love you friend :)

    And I totally agree with you on the whole remembering God is good in all circumstances thing. That is something I have been struggling with lately and I selfishly have been complaining way too much about my life to God instead of praising!

  8. Wise words Jessica! Thnaks for sharing your deep emotions. I know I struggled with these same feelings. Especially after my 4 year relationship ended I kept questioning myself. "Why didn't I just stick it out" "I could have been married by now" but I found God reassuring my heart with statements like "You know this was My Plan for you, I have something far better in store" And He did :) As women we get wrapped up in the planning and over-think things. But right now it seems like you have things figured out...God is preparing your heart and He will be with you every step of the way!!

    1. Hi Lauren :) thanks so much for writing this comment, it really encouraged me on waiting for my future man and being hopeful and patient. I am so thankful for wonderful Christ-loving blog friends like you who demonstrate wonderful examples of the exact God centered marriage that I desire to have one day! Such a blessing! Love ya!

      <3 Jess

  9. I have many friends in your same situation and most of the time I feel like I am not given any room to say much because I am married... BUT I have been there. Thank the Lord that He is indeed all knowing and would never put a desire on our heart to tease or torture us. Some times though the devil likes to trick us and causes us to confuse addiction and lust with desire. That doesn't sound like it's the case for this situation but the Lord also doesn't want us to be consumed with our desires to the point where it takes our focus off him, you know? Like you said, all the things people say to bring comfort don't really work but fortunately there is One who can always bring confused and it sounds like you are choosing to run to Him and not others. The Lord knew every desire of our heart, though of our mind, and words of our lips before we were ever born- found comfort in that.

    XOXO/Lena @ RootandBlossom

  10. Thank you for being so transparent,it's helping so many christian women like myself.I was actually feeling so unholy,unspiritual & a traitor to God, that I was desiring to be married some day. Cause people are always saying that you should be so focused on God that you forget about even being married, you know all those christian singles quotes.I so needed to read your post. God has set me free through it :)

  11. Wow, Thanx for sharing this. I was in this place a while ago and I felt as though my desiring a husband was something I needed to push to the side and ignore (which I successfully did). But thank you for such a fresh perspective on this.

  12. Yes, God has placed this desire to be married in your heart. It is a good desire. God gives us the desires of our heart in His perfect time, not when we want them to happen. Waiting can feel totally frustrating, but can also be used to learn more about the nuances of faith.


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  15. deep words. i share the same desire, Jess. in God's own time He'll make our paths meet the Godly man we've been desiring. and to answer your question, i honor that desire by praying for my future hubby and staying faithful to him although we haven't met yet.

  16. Your future wife, she's studying her books right now. She's becoming smarter like you are. She's becoming a stronger person, preparing herself. She does pray for you, and that you'll have faith to see it through. She prays also that you wait for her, and not going out and flirting with girls in the mean time. That's what it means to Love "All the days of our life." She is your hearts desire, and you are her hearts desire.

    I battle with trusting, slowly it gets better. We shall see


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