"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
a photo I took on a hike earlier this week...Gods country :)
Lately I feel that this summer is going by slower than ever. I am keeping myself as busy as I can, but
some many days feel just that they draaaaaag along. I think the only reason I feel this way is because I just want it to be Fall already, which sounds crazy because that means school...but honestly I am really excited for the Fall and also to begin graduate school. Yeah, call me a nerd, I'm proud of it! ;). I just can't believe that I will have my own class of students. I am so much looking forward to teaching at my University. Anyway though, the main thing that I don't like about this summer is how flexible my schedule is. It honestly scares me how much more free time I have than usual to do things, because I like being busy.
The hardest part for me this summer has been with just learning to thank God continually in this season of my life. Right now, because of my circumstances, I want to do anything but thank God. It sounds horrible, but it is the honest truth and I'm just a sinner saved by grace. God has done so much for me, yet I am just like those stubborn Israelites who kept complaining to God time after time, even though He was always faithful to them and provided their every need. I find myself coming to God with a complaining heart, asking him "what the heck He's doing" and basically just wanting things to be going differently in my life. Deep down I know this a sin and I should be coming to Him with a thankful heart. My list of complaints to God is pathetic and I'm asking God to forgive me right now. Lord, please help me to come to you continually with a thankful heart, instead of a stubborn one. Forgive me for doubting you in so many ways this summer and being such a complainer. Help me to always be thankful, no matter what is going on around me.
I wish I could just learn to be present in the moment, but I feel like sometimes I don't know how to do that or maybe I am just really bad at it. My mind tends to race ahead into the future a lot of the time. Maybe God has placed me in this situation for the summer so I'll learn how to focus on Him and be in the moment a lot more. Last weekend was a real struggle for me because I felt like I had to intentionally plan out things to do with others to keep myself busy. I guess I am just not used to that kind of lifestyle. I am used to having an automatic busy schedule right in front of me, and then going from there. I feel the weekend is when the enemy really gets in my head and reminds me that I'm still single and "how much better it would be to have a boyfriend with me right now." I definitely have really been missing and desiring for my future man to be with me this summer during the nights on these summer weekends where I have been alone. I've honestly have become pretty upset about it, and I have cried a few times. (Especially when the biggest spider I have ever seen crawled into my house the other night, I needed male assistance ASAP!) Maybe this weekend will be the perfect time for me to write my future husband a couple of those letters that I was talking to you guys about doing. This is just a phase of life I'm in, and I have to remind myself that good things are ahead.
So, to end this post, thanks Jesus. Thank you for giving me so much extra time this summer to understand more of the woman God created me to be, and to pursue deeper friendships with others. Thank you for my wonderful family, my beautiful home, the opportunity to go to graduate school, the new friendships I have made this year, and much more.
Are you guys in a situation right now this summer where your really struggling with being patient as well? Are you wishing things to be going differently in your life? Having those lonely single nights? Join me, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and the entire season of the Bachelorette...Just kidding. But seriously though, I love hearing what you guys have to say on this topic of patience! Its encouraging to read every single comment that I receive from the each of you.
We just gotta keep trusting God that He is ALWAYS good and that wonderful things are ahead! He never breaks His promises, remember that.
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