The ONE thing I hate

Hi lovelies!

     I hope that everyone is having a good day so far. I cannot believe that today is officially October 1st!

This has honestly been a really interesting phase of life for me. After finishing graduate school in June, I am still in the process of looking for a career type of job. I am hoping to find a job at the local University in town, in the field of communication. I have applied to many many jobs, and I am still waiting to hear back from a big chunk of them.  I'm content, but at times I struggle and question with wondering what is NEXT. I really feel like God is calling to keep pursuing youth ministry where I live, which is a big reason why I have decided to stay where I am. If you think of me, could you please pray that God would open career doors of opportunity for me? Thank you :)

Anyways, Today I wanted to talk to you guys about the one thing that I truly hate: EVILNESS. aka SATAN himself. 

"Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hands of the wicked." Psalm 97:10 

This probably isn't any news to you guys, that we HAVE an enemy. However, before I was a Christian, I didn't acknowledge the enemy, or his presence in my life. I didn't realize that Satan had one goal for my life: To destroy it. I didn't realize that he wanted to convince me that life was meant for living for myself, and not Jesus. I didn't realize that he was seeking to continuously lead me away from understanding my true value in Christ by convincing me that I could find my purpose in boys/relationships, other people, sex, money, alcohol, and more. 

And that is why forever convinced was started. To lead people closer to Jesus. To let them know that they are LOVED. For them to know that the God of the universe wants an authentic relationship with them. I don't want Satan to have power over anyone's life any longer. My hope and goal is for everyone coming across this blog who doesn't know Christ to submit to Jesus, so that way they will be free from the power of evil in their lives. 

I love you guys!

In Christ, 

Jessica 

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Finding Joy in Christian Singleness

Two years ago, I wrote a post titled "The Struggle in Being Single," on my blog. As I was doing some research on my blog logistics the other day, I found out that this was my most viewed post of all time, generating over 9,000 views.

Wow.

That is a LOT of views. I wish I could take the credit, but I can't. I owe it all to Jesus. It has been and will always be His words that speak through me on this blog. Anyway, in light of knowing that the topic of Christian singleness is something that people are interested in reading about, and also something that a lot of Christian singles struggle with, I thought that it would be a good idea to a little recap on how I have been able to find true joy in my singleness.

Does this mean that I no longer struggle with being single? Absoutely not. One of my biggest desires in this life is to be married and to have a family. There are times when I question if I will ever meet "the guy." Then I am reminded of God's faithfulness and how He sees the desires of my heart.  I just finally came to a place in my faith where I realized that God would want me to EMBRACE this season of singleness, instead of just enduring it. I was tired of believing the lie that I couldn't find joy in my singleness. 

So that is why I decided to write this blog post, my lovely friends. For you to know that it is MORE than possible to find joy in your singleness. I am going to list below some specific ways that I have found joy in my singleness, which I believe the each of you will be able to apply to your own walks with Christ and that will also help you to find joy as well (if you are still single and wanting to be in a relationship).

#1: A huge way that I have found JOY in my singleness is through becoming more involved with youth ministry, AKA serving others! In February of this year, God put it on my heart to become involved with the youth ministry at my local Church. I was a little hesitant at first since I was mostly new to the church, but as time went on, it couldn't have been more clear that this was right where God wanted me. I find so much JOY through leading each one of the kids, a kind of joy that I have never experienced before. And who knows, this is something that I may not have had the time to experience if I were in a relationship. If you currently aren't serving anywhere, I would encourage you to pray and ask God to guide you to serve somewhere. I believe that He has somewhere specific for you that you will truly LOVE and that will also bring a lot of joy into your life! Plus, ministry is a GREAT place to meet a cute Christian boy, just saying ;) (I sure wouldn't mind meeting my future husband in ministry!)

***Pictured below are a couple of photos from my youth ministry adventures this summer! :) We went on an excursion to the beach, took some of our girls to girls camp for a weekend, and also went on our annual missions trip***

# 2: Next, another key way that I have found joy in my singleness is through pursuing other hobbies (besides church ministry) that I am passionate about. Growing up, I always loved to write. It was something I just throughly enjoyed doing. I had this wolf journal (don't ask) where I would write out my thoughts, dreams, emotions, and more. Later on in life when I accepted Christ into my heart and became a Christian, the Holy Spirit invaded my mind with new dreams, and also gave me an entirely different outlook on life. It was shortly after that when I decided to start my own personal blog, to write about my faith and what God was teaching me throughout my life.  Flash forward three years later, and blogging still remains one of my favorite hobbies to this day! If you don't have a hobby, I suggest that you talk to God about it and ask Him to reveal to you what YOU are passionate about. What are you good at? What do you have fun doing? Something that really helped me to figure out what kinds of hobbies that I wanted to pursue was to ask my friends for suggestions or ideas. It is your friends jobs to build you up with who you are in Christ, and I am sure that they would be more than happy to tell you what they think you are good at! I am so thankful for all of the encouragement that I received from my friends to start this blog. They really played a huge role in motivating me to get things going. 

***Check out below the FIRST video I ever made when I started my blog! (me introducing myself). Haha. I was such a little baby! This was about three years ago!***

#3: I have also found joy in my singleness through being intentional and pursuing strong friendships with other Christian woman. Some of these strong Christian friends of mine are still single, and some of them are in relationships. Either way, the time of fellowship that I have with them is such a blessing. I like to think of this way: when I am in a relationship with somebody one day, I won't have nearly as much of free time as I do now to spend time with my close friends. My friends and I have so much fun together just doing random things, and also talking about what God is doing in our lives. Sometimes we will just go on random trips together, or go see a movie together. This summer I helped out with one of my friend's wedding photography business and went to nine different weddings, and I also saw Toby Mac, For King and Country, Blanca, Danny Gokey, and Kutless live in concert with another one of my friends. These experiences with my friends brought so much JOY into my life. If you don't have strong Christian friends, I encourage you to join a small group at your church or somewhere else where you can develop these kinds of friendships. Pray for God to bring these kinds of friends into your life, because He wants to! 

***pictured below are some of the fun things that I did with my friends this summer!***

#4: Finally, the last and most important way that I have found joy in my singleness is through my relationship with JESUS! :) It has and will always be God's gentle and encouraging voice that has guided me every step of the way throughout my life. It is HIS wisdom that has led me to make important decisions such whether or not I should keep pursuing a relationship with a certain guy. It is HIS presence in my life that motivates me to keep dreaming, keep loving, and keep going. If I didn't have a relationship with God, life would truly be meaningless. He is my hope. 

(photo via pinterest)

That is it, friends! It can certainly be hard for me sometimes being single, especially because I have such a strong desire to be in a relationship with a God-fearing man. But because I have a relationship with God and I am seeking Him above all else, I know that the best is yet to come. I know that whoever I end up marrying will be worth the wait because he will be from the Lord. I have dated some people in the past who I had to turn down because I honestly just didn't feel a peace from God about dating them. Bottom line: SEEK JESUS first. He will guide you in your relationships because He is our almighty counselor (Isaiah 9:6)! He wants to exceed your expectations with whoever you end up marrying!

I love you guys!

What types of experiences or activities that you are involved in have helped you to find joy in your singleness? I would love to hear! COMMENT BELOW! :)

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discontentment in my singleness

Hi blog friends! How are the each of you doing? I really am missing this little blog of mine lately. This has been such an exciting season for me in my life, with so many new changes and experiences. 

Today however, I didn't come here to talk to you about my teaching experiences so far or anything like that. I came here to talk with you about why I really don't like being single. In fact, I'm completely open to admitting that If I had to choice given to me by God right now, I would be already married with a family. The closer I get to Jesus, the stronger the desire in my heart becomes to be in a relationship. I read an article the other day from a Christian blogger who I could really relate with on her discussion of singleness. She said, "If the myth were true that God only blesses you with a spouse when you learn to be content in your singleness, than I would have never gotten married, because frankly–I was not okay with a lifetime of singleness. I wanted to be married!"

Thats about how I feel right about now in this stage of my life of being single. The funny thing is too that the closer I get to Jesus, the more opposition I face from the enemy through him trying to do anything he can to make me give up on waiting for God's timing to meet my future spouse. I had the hardest time this week with a situation like this. I'm sure many of you Christian ladies can relate. In one of my classes, there is a very very very attractive guy, who happened to already give me his number and wants to start hanging out right away. I absolutely know without a doubt in my heart that God certainly does not want me hanging out with this guy, because He is not a believer & most importantly is not following Jesus. But it's still down right hard to just say no. There is an overwhelming desire in my heart to just give up and start a relationship with this very attractive guy, but I can't. I know its not what God wants me to do.

I have been in similar situations like this before, but this one honestly is the hardest one yet, and I don't know why. Maybe its because I've become the closest I've ever been to Jesus in my life, and the enemy wants nothing more than to lead me astray. Whatever the reason is for this time around being so hard, I know that I can't give up. I have to stay strong, and trust with my whole heart that God has an amazing, Jesus-loving, attractive husband out there waiting to meet a girl like me.

The author of the article I mentioned previously also said a couple other things about being single that I could really relate with. She said:

"It’s okay to struggle through singleness, but it’s not okay to stop living life because of it." 

"It’s okay to be discontent through singleness, but it’s not okay to let that discontentedness rob us of our very lives."

These are facts that I know to be true. I know that its okay to struggle with being single and to be discontent through this stage in my life, but I also know that I can't allow my discontentment to keep me from living my life.The struggle through my singleness is normal, but its not normal to allow my struggle to become a stronghold.

So my beautiful friends, do you feel the same way I do right now about being single? Let's not give up, and lets keep pressing forward. God has an amazing plan for our lives beyond our imagination, and I can't wait until the very day until I meet my future husband face to face. 

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. if one person falls, the other can reach out and help."

Ecclesiastes. 4:9

Love always, Jess 

P.S.- For those of you wanting to read the article I referenced throughout this post, click HERE!! I promise you'll be encouraged beyond belief. I was truly blessed through reading this post and many others on her webpage. 

My fear of being alone

Hey friends! How are the each of you doing? I am enjoying my last days of summer until I begin training for graduate school in a couple of weeks.

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Today I woke up and began thinking about this blog of mine that I love so much. I love how I have grown through my relationship with God by making this blog and writing out different posts. I don't know why though, but for some reason lately I haven't had much of a desire to write posts for my blog. It's been driving me crazy that I've been feeling this way, so today I decided today to ask the Lord to reignite the flame in my heart to start writing blog posts again. So here I am now, writing a post to my lovely blog friends and updating y'all on my life. 

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that I was going to be alone in my new house for about a month until school started. This initially made me very upset, because I was so used to having at least one of my roommates around.  I was angry at God when this news came, and I selfishly questioned why He would want me to be alone. "Why are you DOING this to me God?!" "Don't you want me to be around other Christians?!" Although I did have a big community of other Christians in town who I could hang out with for the remainder of the summer, I felt that it was more important for me to at least be living with other people. I didn't want to be by myself, and I didn't understand why God, who knew me better than anyone else, would want me to be living by myself for the remainder of the summer. 

Up until the very moment where I was officially alone in our house, I was scared to death of what it would feel like to be alone. God had given me the clear answer in my heart by letting me know that He indeed did want me to stay where I was for the rest of the summer, but what I wanted to know was WHY  He wanted me to be all by myself. I didn't understand what God was doing, so I did what I guess any normal human being would do: worry. What would I do by myself? Was God doing this to me because He was mad at me? I was an emotional wreck and my mind was all over the place, and I wasn't giving God any chance whatsoever to let in His perspective on the situation.

When I was finally alone and living by myself, at first I felt very uncomfortable, and also pretty lonely. I didn't like not having someone to talk to when I came home at random times throughout the day, or having someone to watch TV with. But as time went on, I was beginning to notice that I really didn't feel alone, even though technically I was. During this whole period of living by myself, I've felt as if God has been right next to me the entire time, talking with me and laughing with me all throughout the day (yes, God certainly does have a sense of humor! After all, He created humor!). I don't feel alone at all, and I have no doubt that I am exactly where God wants me to be. Instead of feeling lonely as I feared I would, I have only felt God cover me with His love, joy, and peace the entire time.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you."

Deuteronomy 31:8 

 Although I am looking forward to having my roommates back here with me in my house soon, I am thankful that God allowed for me to live alone for a period of time. I learned so much more about who God truly is through this experience. It doesn't matter if I'm by myself or with a million people, as long as I reflect on the truth that God is with me, all my fears wash away. I can either waste my time worrying about the future, or instead  choose to keep my focus set on God and His presence that is always with me. 

I am thankful for God's grace, because I needed a heck of a lot of it to get to where I am now. I wasted a lot of time complaining to God about my circumstances, when instead I should have been praising Him for all that He has blessed me with. I also wasted a lot of time worrying about the future, when I really had nothing to worry about all along. God truly is the best teacher, and I love the fact that I am able to come into His presence every day and seek to know Him more intimately. 

Love always, Jess 

The #2 problem with Christianity

"Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

Psalm 139:24

This is a very special verse to me because a lot of the time I will quietly pray it to myself as a way to find out if there is anything that I may be putting in between my relationship with the Lord.  It helps me keep my relationship with God on track, by reminding myself that its completely okay to be honest with God and allow for Him to show me the areas of my walk with Him where I'm slipping up. This is something that I have to do often, because God's the teacher and I'm the student. I'm learning something new from Him everyday.

Last night, I found myself praying this prayer to God once again. It's not that I felt distance from God or anything, instead I simply felt nothing. God's presence was there with me, but the passion I have always typically felt in my relationship with Him was not. The second I tasted God's goodness, I knew I wanted more of it every day for the rest of my life. Now that I have become familiar with God's "taste," its very easy for me to recognize when it is gone or dying down.

God quietly responded to my prayer by letting me know that actually this time I hadn't replaced Him with anything. Instead, I had run away from one of the problems in my life, which had prohibited me from receiving His grace in full measure. I saw a set of risky and unfavorable circumstances in front of me that God was calling me to tackle head on, and I became scared. Instead of responding obediently to what God had called me to do, I ran in the opposite direction. 

"Jessica, how can you ever expect to really know me if you run away from the things I have called you to do, no matter how impossible they may seem?"

I then thought back to all of the times where God has been faithful in my walk with Him, even when I doubted Him a million times. I told the Lord that I was sorry, and asked Him to forgive me for running away from what He had called me to do. The truth is that it was easy to run away. It was easy for me to take the "safe and comfortable route" away from the problem placed in front of me. As I look back on my walk with Jesus though, I am reminded that the majority of the time He has placed me in uncomfortable situations.  I am able to see how much I was able to grow through these experiences, as I relied on His strength more than ever to get me through.

The truth is, if we want God to become something more to us than just a guy we visit on Sundays, then we must accept that the majority of the time He will place us in uncomfortable situations. God will become a lot more real to us in our lives if we make that first step in choosing courage over fear. Although He doesn't promise to take away circumstances in our lives that we may not be in favor of, He does promise that He is with us continuously, & God wants us to trust and believe that that promise from Him is enough. 

Has God called you to do something recently that your afraid of? Are you running away from an area of your life that God wants you to stand firm in? I know I have doubted God and ran away from Him plenty of times, but when I finally decided to pull through and trust Him even in the tough times, I was truly able to experience His love for me. 

Love always, Jess 

When thanking God is hard: I complain too much.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

a photo I took on a hike earlier this week...Gods country :)

Lately I feel that this summer is going by slower than ever. I am keeping myself as busy as I can, but some  many days feel just that they draaaaaag along. I think the only reason I feel this way is because I just want it to be Fall already, which sounds crazy because that means school...but honestly I am really excited for the Fall and also to begin graduate school. Yeah, call me a nerd, I'm proud of it! ;). I just can't believe that I will have my own class of students. I am so much looking forward to teaching at my University. Anyway though, the main thing that I don't like about this summer is how flexible my schedule is. It honestly scares me how much more free time I have than usual to do things, because I like being busy.

The hardest part for me this summer has been with just learning to thank God continually in this season of my life. Right now, because of my circumstances, I want to do anything but thank God. It sounds horrible, but it is the honest truth and I'm just a sinner saved by grace. God has done so much for me, yet I am just like those stubborn Israelites who kept complaining to God time after time, even though He was always faithful to them and provided their every need. I find myself coming to God with a complaining heart, asking him "what the heck He's doing" and basically just wanting things to be going differently in my life. Deep down I know this a sin and I should be coming to Him with a thankful heart. My list of complaints to God is pathetic and I'm asking God to forgive me right now. Lord, please help me to come to you continually with a thankful heart, instead of a stubborn one. Forgive me for doubting you in so many ways this summer and being such a complainer. Help me to always be thankful, no matter what is going on around me.

 I wish I could just learn to be present in the moment, but I feel like sometimes I don't know how to do that or maybe I am just really bad at it. My mind tends to race ahead into the future a lot of the time. Maybe God has placed me in this situation for the summer so I'll learn how to focus on Him and be in the moment a lot more. Last weekend was a real struggle for me because I felt like I had to intentionally plan out things to do with others to keep myself busy. I guess I am just not used to that kind of lifestyle. I am used to having an automatic busy schedule right in front of me, and then going from there. I feel the weekend is when the enemy really gets in my head and reminds me that I'm still single and "how much better it would be to have a boyfriend with me right now." I definitely have really been missing and desiring for my future man to be with me this summer during the nights on these summer weekends where I have been alone. I've honestly have become pretty upset about it, and I have cried a few times. (Especially when the biggest spider I have ever seen crawled into my house the other night, I needed male assistance ASAP!) Maybe this weekend will be the perfect time for me to write my future husband a couple of those letters that I was talking to you guys about doing. This is just a phase of life I'm in, and I have to remind myself that good things are ahead.

 So, to end this post, thanks Jesus. Thank you for giving me so much extra time this summer to understand more of the woman God created me to be, and to pursue deeper friendships with others. Thank you for my wonderful family, my beautiful home, the opportunity to go to graduate school, the new friendships I have made this year, and much more.

Are you guys in a situation right now this summer where your really struggling with being patient as well? Are you wishing things to be going differently in your life? Having those lonely single nights? Join me, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and the entire season of the Bachelorette...Just kidding. But seriously though, I love hearing what you guys have to say on this topic of patience! Its encouraging to read every single comment that I receive from the each of you.

We just gotta keep trusting God that He is ALWAYS good and that wonderful things are ahead! He never breaks His promises, remember that.

Love always, 

Jess

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Single Girl talk: My desire for a Godly man

As I begin this post I am already noticing it is a bit of a struggle to write. I'm trying to piece together how I feel bit by bit about this whole being single stage of my life, and its a complicated mess. I don't know how it happened, but somehow not too long ago I got out of the habit of being completely honest on what I write about on my blog. Not that I was lying to the any of you, but instead I was covering more things up in my life. I was making things seem a little too perfect than they really were. I told myself that if a post was a struggle to write, then I shouldn't write it. The enemy wants us to think that our struggles are shameful, when in fact, they are beautiful. When I share my struggles and I am open with others I feel so much better. Because lets be honest, life gets hard, and we all have problems. I'm realizing that it is OKAY and also extremely therapeutic to share what I am struggling with. I just love knowing that are many of you who have either felt as I have or are feeling the same way right now in your lives. I was so encouraged by all of your kind comments on my post yesterday and I truly enjoyed reading every single one of them, thank you so much! I feel so loved and extremely blessed that I have been able to meet such amazing people through blogging. Blogging has become such a big part of my life, and I am so thankful that Jesus has provided this special outlet for me.

 However yesterday I still felt a burden on my heart about being single, and I didn't know what to with it. Was it sinful to feel the way that I did? (Absolutely not, but I found myself thinking that to myself anyway). Is this a huge slap in the face toward my relationship with Jesus to have this desire inside of me? Do other followers of Jesus have this desire inside of them before they actually meet their husband? Isn't this need NOT supposed to be here? Shouldn't I feel 100% complete in God with no desire for anything else but Him in my life before I get married? After all, that is the type of advice for single Christians that I have read and heard so much about in the past.  "You just gotta reach that point where God is enough, then your man will come!" is what people typically say. Or they say: "Your future man will come when you least expect it, when your eyes are primarily focused on the Lord!" and of course the: "Jesus is your husband!" phrase. The thing for though is that none of that advice really ever has helped or let alone made me feel better. Jesus is already enough for me, I love Him with every ounce of my being. I feel Him with me everywhere I go. I have no doubt that where I am in my life is where He wants me to be. However Jesus has placed something in my heart secondary to Him that is undeniable. It is an overwhelming, flaming desire to be married one day to a man who loves the Lord. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

Psalm 37:4

Aha! It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. So this verse tells me that God knows this desire in my heart is there. In fact, it was given to me by him. I am not a crazy person!! God is aware of this desire, and unless for some reason He decides to take it away, He plans on blessing me with this desire, at the point in which I am ready to receive it.

"So uhhhh God, what the heck am I supposed to do with this desire until you bring it into my life? It could be ten years down the road till I meet my future husband! I hate to sound negative because I know your 100% positive, but are you like trying to make me go crazy over here? I am 10 seconds away from freaking out.."

Then God (just in time!) ever so clearly said to me in his soft, gentle, undeniable voice:

What I want you to do with this desire I gave you Jessica is begin to love your future husband now, as in today. If in the future if I take this desire off of your heart, then so be it. But for now, I have placed it there for a reason. It is not good for man to be alone, and two are better than one. It is a beautiful desire to have, and it is never something that you should be ashamed of. Absolutely NEVER deny this desire. If I remove it from your heart, you will know and it will be clear to you. It is not rocket science. Let this desire grow in your heart and preserve it. Share your struggle in being patient for me to bring it into your life, and seek me above all else as I continue to direct and guide you in your life.

ps- stop over thinking things and just relax. But seriously your mind sometimes girl.  C-h-i-l-l.

Love always, your heavenly father.

okay maybe I imagined God saying that very last sentence about wanting me to "c-h-i-l-l," but everything above that I truly did hear the Lord say to me. The holy spirit spoke through me right then and there, and I felt like I had just received the perfect answer that I needed to hear from God about waiting on my future husband.

So my friends, today I feel so much better knowing that this desire was put on my heart from God and God alone. He is in fact not torturing me, but instead He plans on blessing me with a future husband one day in the future. Unless plans change and I find myself desiring things other than a husband one day, then I can't wait for that beautiful day when I meet my future husband face to face (or maybe we already have?!) Until then, there is some things that I know I need to work on from here. I am clearly not ready to meet my future man, or he would sitting here right next to me. I want to make myself a better woman of God from this point on, and I want to get to know Jesus in the deepest way that I can. I want to reflect on the amazing way my father has created me to be as a woman. I also definitely do not just want to act like my future man is dead until the day we meet, I want to live out my life daily of honoring and thinking of him. I'm excited to learn more about becoming a noble wife as I grow in Christ, and also to move on in life WITH this desire kept snug in my heart, without denying it or looking at it shamefully.

I love you guys! Did you ever find yourselves wondering where your desire for a future husband came from? Did you ever consider it to be "wrong" and that you should ignore it and shove it to the side? How are you preserving and honoring that desire in your heart today?

Love always, Jess

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the struggle in being single

Lately I've been hesitant to share with you guys what exactly is on my heart and what has been bothering me. It is a topic that I am not too fond of talking about, and it is typically something that I like to ignore. I've decided that I need to remember that being vulnerable is a good thing, and it's okay to share with you guys the things that God has laid on my heart. Plus, I know that the enemy would only want me to stay bottled up and emotionless, and I refuse to do that. I am always so blessed when I read your guys blog posts that I am so easily able to relate with, and I appreciate all of your vulnerability so much. So here it goes: Lately I am really having a hard time being single. My emotions are out of control, and I keep going back and fourth from trusting that God will provide me with an amazing future husband to never getting married and not having a large group of godly friends as I so much desire. I prayed to God, "Lord, if it is not in your will for me to get married, then please take this strong desire off of my heart." Ever since I prayed that prayer, it seems that my desire is actually growing, but thats okay. Maybe the Lord just wants me to trust Him and understand that in my grieving of missing my future husband I can cry out to Him and He will sustain me. Maybe just maybe, God wants me to cry so hard and miss my future man so badly that I will begin to understand that on waiting on His perfecting timing for a future husband, I will see that I am actually in a beautiful place in my life. 

Some days are easier than others. Some days I find it to be the simplest thing in the world to trust and believe that my future husband is out there waiting for me and becoming more and more of the Godly man that I always imagined Him to be. But some days, its just plain hard. Some days, I find myself imagining the worst possible ending for my love life. I imagine myself being single forever, and telling my parents that I have decided to purchase 50 cats. {My mom and I actually laughed at that joke together.} The hardest part is comparing my love life to other girls. Many of the other girls in my life are either dating, engaged, or married. As wonderful as that is for them, I can't help but think to myself that I am lacking something. That me, on my own, just isn't enough. Being single isn't right, and I should be either in a relationship or married by now. I know that that is the biggest lie in the universe, but sometimes I just help but feel it to be true. I have decided that the next time I get really upset and I am missing my future husband, I am going to write Him a letter just as Eric and Leslie Ludy suggested in their amazing book that they wrote on waiting on your future spouse. It's going to be hard in that moment, but I am committing to doing it. I know it will make me feel better about waiting for Him. 

Lastly, I must remember the importance of dying to myself, each and every day. I must force myself to throw off every lie and desire weighed on my heart that God has not yet prepared me to act on yet. I must trust that His plan for my life is better than my own, and I must thank Him that He is guiding me in the best direction for my life. It's not an easy journey at all, but it is so much worth it. I pray that today God would help me to die to myself even more and trust His perfect plan for my life.

Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.

Luke 9:23-24

Wherever you are future husband, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you and that every ounce of my being wishes that you were right here next to me, holding my hand. I love you for eternity. 

Now, onto eating some chocolate and watching the Bachelorette with my girl Des (home town date night tonight holler! GO BROOKS, YOUR A BABE!!!!)

Okay sorry for the really random ending, but thats actually what I am going to do.

PS- Do any of you single ladies find yourself struggling with the single life? What about you taken ladies, I know you guys have some good advice that you could share with me on waiting for my future husband!

I love you guys!

Ps- I would love it if you guys would show my blog's Facebook page some love, it needs some of it :) Click HERE to like Forever Convinced on Facebook!

PPS- Click HERE to follow me on Instagram! : )

Seeking God first isn't always easy

Hey guys. I hope your days are all off to a good start! Today is moving day for me into my new house, and I am beyond excited! It's so cool to know that  I was able to share my searching for a place to live experience with you guys on here and that you were able to see how The Lord worked it out for me in the end. On a different note, I am really enjoying summer time and just being able to lay low and relax before graduate school starts up in the fall.    

I can't help but share with you guys something The Lord has been putting on my heart lately. It has to do with seeking Him over everything else. Sound familiar? Thought so. :).

Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.  

Matthew 6:33  

 I've been practicing my calligraphy skills, and below is a something I drew last night, what do you guys think? I love using colorful markers! 

 

Wow. What an incredible promise this verse gives us. The first thing I think when I see this verse is how wonderful of a promise from God it entails. The second thing I think of is how sometimes it can be so easy for me to focus on my fears and problems, instead of God. Sometimes it can be easy to let my mind wander off into the unknown, and begin to question where God is leading me in my life. Whenever I find myself beginning to think this way, I have to shake myself out of it and  trust and believe that God is working for my good. As soon as I do this, my mood instantly lightens and I feel back to my normal, happy self. Fearful thoughts are not from God, as I sometimes have to remind myself. 

I just wanted to encourage you guys today that whatever you are going through, nothing is too big for God to handle. Sometimes, seeking God first isn't always the easiest thing when our circumstances are out of line. I like things to be going smoothly and without any slip ups, like every other human being. However I am learning as a Christian it means that sometimes my circumstances will be beyond my control and just plain overwhelming. These are the times that if I am not seeking Gods wisdom and strength through the whole thing, I am doomed  to failure and I would probably give up.  

 

So guys. Frustrated with how your life is going right now? Seek Him first. Confused? Seek Him first. Annoyed? Seek Him first. Terrified of the unknown? Seek Him first. Overly emotional for no reason and in a weird funk? Seek Him first. God puts us through hard times for a reason, He always has some wonderful wisdom to teach us. There is a light at the end of your tunnel, whether your circumstances are overwhelmingly terrifying or just slightly annoying. I promise. Our Gods a teacher, and He just simply wants to know if we trust Him enough to make it though the test.  

 

Love always, Jess

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Happy Thursday Everyone!

     I am happy to announce I managed to FINALLY figure out how to add the "follower" gadget to my page. Whew, this blogging stuff is complicated! I'm just glad it didn't take me over 2 months to figure out. Haha. I feel the Lord calling me to blog more and more, and I am thrilled! I am super passionate about blogging, I don't know what it is. I love to write, especially about what the Lord is doing in my life.

     Yesterday, I went to go pick up my cap and gown for my college graduation this June. What a surreal feeling it was, let me tell you. These past four years have been full of such significant changes in my life. So much growth, and so much more growth to come. I am thankful to the place where God has brought me. I am also excited to see what the future holds, however that doesn't mean that I'm not scared about the future. In fact, I am terrified when I think that far in advance, but thankfully the Lord is there to remind me to keep my mindset in the PRESENT. That is honestly the only way I can ever have peace in my life.  

      Right now I am in period of waiting in my life. I am waiting to see what the answer is from the Lord on what to do next year. I am waiting on answers on him if I should go to graduate school or not, I am waiting on him to see who he wants me to live with, I am waiting on him for his direction in new relationships, I am waiting on him to continue to heal me in all those little places where he still hasn't touched me yet. I wanted to share with y'all some scripture on waiting on the Lord and why this is such a significant part in our relationship with Him. More specifically, waiting on Him with patience. Waiting on Him with trust. Waiting on Him with contentment.

A couple of my favorite Bible verses about waiting on the LORD: "Wait patiently for the Lord.

    Be brave and courageous.

    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." 

Psalm 27:14

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

     They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31 

      I love these verses because they speak so much truth. When I'm waiting on the Lord, I should be strong and courageous and trust that He will provide for all of my needs. I fail to do this a lot of the time, but I know that at the end of the day that God will provide for me. Sometimes my faith in the Lord my waver, but that doesn't mean He has given up on me. He is always there, encouraging me to come back into His loving arms. I have SO much more to learn from Him. That is how it is always going to be in my relationship with the Lord. Growing, Learning, Becoming more like the one who saved me.

     What are some of the things you struggle with in trusting God to provide for you? Have you confessed this to Him and given Him the chance to speak some truth into your life? Speak, He's listening!

      My FAVORITE song right now? This one!

  It's soooo good! I can't stop playing it.

     My favorite show right now? Well here's a little hint...:D

      What can I say, I'm addicted and it's hilarious!

         Hope you all have a beautiful rest of your day today!

       xoxo

                                                                               

praying for your FUTURE MAN. [the power of prayer]

     Hey friends! I'm so glad to be back in the blogging scene. Finals week for college was a killer, but my exams are over now and I'm thrilled to be back & finally just sit and share my thoughts with each of you today.

     God has been putting on my heart this past week a lot of thoughts about my future husband. Where is he? Who is he? Have I already met him yet? When will I meet him? What if I'm not ready for a relationship when I meet him? What if I don't know how to manage a relationship with Jesus and a boyfriend at the same time when he does come along?

     I don't know about you all, but these are so many questions that run through my head on a daily basis about him. Like, I hope I'm not a crazy person...please tell me this is normal at my age. The more I thought about it though and read some scripture in my Bible, I realized that God has always intended for me to marry someone, and he has put this desire on my heart to be with a man forever for a reason. Genesis 3:18 says: "Then the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just and right for him."

      As you can see, God wants us to be married. He wants us to find the love of our lives, that special someone he planned for us to be with long ago. God has the perfect match for you and me, but I'm realizing for myself that this godly man won't just come out of nowhere to me unless I PRAY.

      Prayer...what do you think about it? When I first became I Christian, I'm going to be completely honest with you, I doubted prayer. I doubted God was really listening. I believed in God and knew He was real, but I just couldn't imagine The God of the universe really cared enough to listen to me. I had to get to the point in my life where I was completely broken so God could cry out to me, "Are you ready to listen to me now, Jessica? I never intended for you to be put through all of this harm. Confess your sins and come back to me." From here I finally began to listen to Him, I finally began to confess, and it was here in my life where I finally began to see a way out of the darkness. There was finally a light at the end of my dark tunnel. There was no longer any more endless hope for me. Now I can say that with full confidence that God's response to our prayer to Him is: Comforting. Peaceful. BEYOND REAL. Beautiful. Encouraging. Amazing.

     So here it goes, I wanted to share with you ladies some ideas of mine on praying for your future husbands. I hope it encourages you. I hope it helps you to understand even more that God does have a special prince planned out for you. & Before I begin, I just wanted to say that these ideas of mine are not intended only for the single ladies, but also the married ones, the dating ones, the engaged ones, etc.

1) You pray for his heart.

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Praying for your mans heart is IMPORTANT. Our man's hearts are so very special and need to be prayed for just as badly as our own. We often walk into situations where we end up getting hurt because we didn't ask God to give us the wisdom for protecting our hearts. Well, it's the same for men. Pray that God would guard their hearts, Pray that they would give their hearts to God EVERY day, Pray that they would always be seeking the Lord's heart until the time comes when God allows for them to pursue yours with tender care.

2) You pray that he would follow the Holy Spirit's leading in his life.

Another big one that I felt like I should share with you is this. From my own personal experience, following the Holy Spirit in my life has lead me to joy and peace, despite the pain it sometimes has taken for me to get there. This is why it's so important to pray for your man to follow the holy spirit's leading in his life as well. God's spirit speaks to each of us and guide us in all that we do, according to John 14:26 which says: "But the Advocate, the Holy spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind to you everything that I have said to you." Pray that your man would listen to the spirit's leading in EVERY part of his life, not just some parts. Pray that God wouldn't let the enemy lead him astray and get off track. Pray that he wouldn't allow the spirit to condemn him (because that's not from God) but only to CONVICT him. Conviction reveals us the truth we need to understand, condemnation tears us down.

3) You pray that he would love Jesus with all of his heart, mind, and soul, more than he could ever love you.

Sounds cray, right? Nope not at all! Some of you are probably thinking: "But don't I want my man to love ME with his whole heart?" Nope, you sure don't. I say this because if your man truly loves the Lord, his love for you will reflect his love for Jesus, which will be better than you ever imagined. God must be in the center of our relationships in order for them to be everything we have ever wanted them to be. God completely filled my old empty & broken heart with His unconditional love, which allowed for me to understand that NO man can ever love me in the way that He loves me. As much as I want an awesome Jesus-loving husband someday, I'll always want Jesus more. That's why I think it's so important to pray for our future men to love Jesus with all of their heart, mind, and soul. (Luke 10:27) Pray that God will always be first in their day-day-life, Pray that they would be able to understand the importance of quiet time with the Lord EVERY day, Pray that their love for the Lord would be so evident and strong that it would overflow into your own relationship with each other. Ephesians 5:25 says: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." In other words, pray that your man's love for you would be similar to how much he loves Jesus.

4) You pray that he would surround himself with godly friends who keep him accountable

I have learned in the past year how important my Christian friendship are more than ever. These are the friends who keep me accountable of my actions, call me out on my sin, pray for me, watch out for me,and love me. Wouldn't you want your man to be surrounding himself with friends like these as well? After all, 1 Corinthians 15:33 says: "Do not be mislead, bad company leads to bad character." Pray that your man would surround himself with godly friends who keep him accountable of his actions. Pray that he would seek God's wisdom above all else when building new relationships. Pray that he would be able to maintain, encourage, the new godly friends that come into his life.

5) Pray that you would both meet when your READY, in God's timing.

Ah yes. I'll be 100% honest with you guys, this is the part that might be the hardest for myself. I often find myself creating fairy tale romances in my head the second I spot a cute Christian boy at church. Yep, I just admitted that. But hey, were only human. Lately God has been really telling me lately just to be patient and WAIT. He's been reminding how important it is that my future husband is brought into my life when both him and I are ready to meet each other. Pray that both you and your man would be completely ready for a relationship together when God brings him into your life. Pray that his heart would be ready to take care of yours when you meet. Pray that he is patient enough when pursuing you so that he treats you respectfully, generously, unselfishly, and lovingly.

Q&A Time!

What if I don't know if a boy I am starting to really like is "the one?" How do I know if it's God's will or I'm moving things too fast?

Gosh. there have been quite a few times in the past where in my relationships I totally jumped into things with a new guy way too fast, without talking about God with it first. Then whuddya know? I got hurt. I wish I could help you understand the importance for you to bring whatever situation you are currently in with a boy to God first and ask for His approval. For me, Talking with God about a new guy in my life is a daily conversation. I have to remind myself each day to tell God that if this new guy isn't in His will for me, then the He should take him out of my life and set me right back on his perfect plan for my life. So yes my lovely ladies, put God first. Not only in all the big things, but even the itsy bitsy things. (God wants to be THAT intimate with you, I promise.) Be prepared for anything to happen, knowing God works in mysterious ways. If you find out a new guy you've been seeing isn't interested in you anymore, don't allow for yourself to get too upset, as hard as that is to do. (Trust me, I KNOW. I've been hurt. It's painful.) But this truly just means that God has a better guy for you. After all, God wants you to be with someone who brings out the absolute BEST in you. You deserve to be treated like a princess.

Love ya'll! Happy Sunday!