Monday, August 26, 2013

When God changed my heart

Hey blog friends! How have you all been? I'm sorry I have been M.I.A. around here, I have just been taking some time to clear my thoughts and really listen to what the Lord is speaking to me through my life right now. I am so thankful because the Lord has truly changed my heart completely from the beginning of summer until now. So much has changed, and there is no better feeling in the world than falling in love with Jesus more and more every day. 

So uhhhh..what to talk about? As I sit here and pray for the Lord to give me wisdom and instruction, my mind is drawing a blank. I feel like I have so much to be thankful for with what the Lord is doing in my life, and I just want to praise Him all the time. It's a great feeling.

God revealed to me at the beginning of this summer that fear is something I struggle with a lot. My biggest fear is rejection, and this is because of some things that have happened with my old friends of the past. Along with rejection, my other big fears are simply for things to go wrong in my life. I either fear the worst of the worst happening, or I fear that just bad things will happen in my life in general. Whenever I think this way, my mind is in shambles, and suddenly God feels very distant. 

Although I have improved so much in this area of my walk with God since the beginning of the summer, I still struggle with it. It is getting better, but I am still weak. This summer has been such a humbling experience as I am reminded that the Lord truly holds every ounce of my strength. Without Him, I would lose every battle. Without Him, I wouldn't have any motivation left to keep going. 

Along with this situation being very humbling, I wont lie, it has been quite frustrating as well. Some days I just wish I was more far ahead in my transformation process. It is during these hard times that I hear the Lord speak gently into my heart: "Not yet Jessica, but soon. Trust me." God encourages my heart so much by helping me to recognize how far I have come. I realized today how uncomfortable I instantly become whenever my mind begins to shift into fearful thinking. At the beginning of the summer, I was so used to thinking that way that I didn't even realize there was anything wrong with my thinking pattern. However today, things are very different. In just 2 short months, the Lord has restored my mind and given me the strength to resist any thoughts that are not of Him. 

I think its easy for the each of us to focus more on how far we have left to go, instead of focusing on how far we have come in our walks with God. At least thats how it goes for me anyway. I should be praising God constantly for all that He's done in my life at this point, but instead I find it easier sometimes to complain and wish that He were working things out differently. How in my right mind could I look back on this past summer and NOT be full of praise through acknowledging the drastic changes the Lord has done with my heart?

 It's amazing that God loves the each of us enough to care about working on the little things within our lives. We don't have to be lying in a hospital bed in order for God to pay any attention to us. A lot of the time our biggest need for God simply comes from the lingering pain within our hearts. If God sees some kind of wall built up in my heart that is prohibiting me from experiencing His true character, He will do whatever necessary to break down that wall so I can know His love for me in full measure. I feel so loved knowing that God loved me enough to spend this entire summer working simply on my heart.  Thank you Jesus, I love you Lord.

"The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7

In what ways has the Lord worked on your guys hearts this summer? Is it easy for you to fall into a routine of complaining to God instead of praising Him? In what ways do you think you can make an effort to start praising God more? 

Love always, Jess


  1. I LOVE this! It is so easy to forget how far we've come, or the blessings we have received! I feel like one of the easiest ways to realize all that we have, and to remember to be thankful of it always is to keep a journal listing each thing that is a blessing. If we are thinking each day what to write, we will discover the smallest blessings that we never took the time to recognize!

  2. Oh love this post Jess! I 'm also really scared of rejection... It's so awesome to hear how the Lord has been changing you over the summer. He cares so much for each of us, and you are so right, "we don't have to be lying in a hospital bed in order for God to pay any attention to us." Thank you for this post. It was really encouraging. I'm praying for you! :)