Saturday, October 12, 2013

discontentment in my singleness

Hi blog friends! How are the each of you doing? I really am missing this little blog of mine lately. This has been such an exciting season for me in my life, with so many new changes and experiences. 

Today however, I didn't come here to talk to you about my teaching experiences so far or anything like that. I came here to talk with you about why I really don't like being single. In fact, I'm completely open to admitting that If I had to choice given to me by God right now, I would be already married with a family. The closer I get to Jesus, the stronger the desire in my heart becomes to be in a relationship. I read an article the other day from a Christian blogger who I could really relate with on her discussion of singleness. She said, "If the myth were true that God only blesses you with a spouse when you learn to be content in your singleness, than I would have never gotten married, because frankly–I was not okay with a lifetime of singleness. I wanted to be married!"

Thats about how I feel right about now in this stage of my life of being single. The funny thing is too that the closer I get to Jesus, the more opposition I face from the enemy through him trying to do anything he can to make me give up on waiting for God's timing to meet my future spouse. I had the hardest time this week with a situation like this. I'm sure many of you Christian ladies can relate. In one of my classes, there is a very very very attractive guy, who happened to already give me his number and wants to start hanging out right away. I absolutely know without a doubt in my heart that God certainly does not want me hanging out with this guy, because He is not a believer & most importantly is not following Jesus. But it's still down right hard to just say no. There is an overwhelming desire in my heart to just give up and start a relationship with this very attractive guy, but I can't. I know its not what God wants me to do.

I have been in similar situations like this before, but this one honestly is the hardest one yet, and I don't know why. Maybe its because I've become the closest I've ever been to Jesus in my life, and the enemy wants nothing more than to lead me astray. Whatever the reason is for this time around being so hard, I know that I can't give up. I have to stay strong, and trust with my whole heart that God has an amazing, Jesus-loving, attractive husband out there waiting to meet a girl like me.

The author of the article I mentioned previously also said a couple other things about being single that I could really relate with. She said:

"It’s okay to struggle through singleness, but it’s not okay to stop living life because of it." 
"It’s okay to be discontent through singleness, but it’s not okay to let that discontentedness rob us of our very lives."
These are facts that I know to be true. I know that its okay to struggle with being single and to be discontent through this stage in my life, but I also know that I can't allow my discontentment to keep me from living my life.The struggle through my singleness is normal, but its not normal to allow my struggle to become a stronghold.

So my beautiful friends, do you feel the same way I do right now about being single? Let's not give up, and lets keep pressing forward. God has an amazing plan for our lives beyond our imagination, and I can't wait until the very day until I meet my future husband face to face. 

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. if one person falls, the other can reach out and help."
Ecclesiastes. 4:9

Love always, Jess 

P.S.- For those of you wanting to read the article I referenced throughout this post, click HERE!! I promise you'll be encouraged beyond belief. I was truly blessed through reading this post and many others on her webpage. 


  1. I've been single for now 2 yrs after a long 7 yr abusive relationship. Sometimes I think I will be single and alone for ever but I know God has someone picked out for me and I will meet this amazing guy when God feels its the right time for me to do so.

  2. Jess, thank you so much for being so transparent with us! I'm going through the exact same thing. The closer I get to Jesus, the more these guys come out of no where, but we've got to keep fighting against our own flesh, and as you said, keep pressing forward. I'm so happy I stumbled upon your blog, I look forward to reading more of your posts. You are truly a blessing! Your sister in Christ, Janelly

  3. Yes--as long as you're not allowing the discontent to control your life or keep you from being happy and enjoying life. I believe marriage is a good thing and a worthy thing to want...but in all practicality, marriage to a guy who doesn't share your faith isn't going to be much fun, and I think that's one of the best and most practical motivations when it comes to saying "no" to the guys who aren't pursuing God.

  4. While it is extremely frustrating to have to wait now, it will make your future relationship so much sweeter. The best kind of relationship is one where you know he stands equal to you, especially in matters of faith. You are a beautiful, talented woman. Don't settle for the first guy that notices you, but wait to find one that is worth getting to know. Also, God knows exactly what you are going through and has not forgotten you.

  5. This was so refreshing to read. So often when reading about single Christians the message is that you should be happy being single because that's what God wants for you or you will never find someone until you have accepted your singleness. But like you I've found the older I've gotten and the more I've grown as a Christian my desire to be a wife & mom has just gotten stronger. And I honestly don't think God would place such a strong desire on my heart if He never planned on fulfilling it. Thanks for sharing and being so honest, it's extremely comforting to know I'm not the only one out there struggling with singleness, and that's it's okay to struggle as long as it's not defining me. Blessings <3

  6. I too have been feeling discontent in my singleness. Out of nowhere, God gave me an overwhelming sense of peace in my singleness. I don't want to be single forever, but He has a plan for me.


  7. I love that you openly address this. I think that believers make this topic a kind of taboo. I love your honesty and can say that I am here, I think as well. Learning to embrace the fact that I DO want to get married and I DO desire to be with someone now but not allowing it to shift my focus from Christ or disrupt my life. :)