Friday, April 18, 2014

Lonely nights: single girl diaries

"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:12-13

I guess you could say that this verse perfectly exemplifies how I have been feeling lately. Lately, more than ever, I have this strong desire for certain things (more specifically dreams of mine) to happen in my life that have not yet happened. It's hard being 23 and having lonely nights without any significant other by my side. I wish more than ever that I was in a relationship, but clearly God hasn't opened up that door to my life yet. I think we all have that feeling deep down to be in community with others, and thats what I crave. Although I do feel like I have a great community of Christians here where I live, I'm just missing having a close circle of friends. So many friends of mine are moving onto that married stage of life, and I'm not there yet. It leaves me wondering what I'm supposed to do in my free time, and what types of things I am supposed to pursue. I feel a little out of place. Some days are easier than others, thats for sure.

I can't help but wonder when my time will come. When my dreams will be fulfilled, when God will give me the desires of my heart like He talks about in Psalm 37. I'm glad that God put Philippians 4:12-13 on my heart today. This verse reassures me that no matter what kind of need I have, Jesus Christ can satisfy that need. He is the answer to that joy I am searching for in my heart. I may not be exactly where I want to be in my life, but God has me where He wants me to be, and thats all that matters. I have to submit the plans I have my life into the hands of God. If I don't, my life will become a mess. God knows what He is doing, and I have to trust that His plan is always better. I feel the Lord putting the word "submit" on my heart a lot lately, and I think that is because He is reminding how important it is to continuously do this in my walk with Him.

Any other single girls out there having a night in to themselves tonight? Holler at meeeeee! haha ;) seriously though! share a comment below, and lemme know the types of things you like to do in your free time! I figure that one day we won't have this kind of free time when were married, so it's good to pursue different kinds of activities now. 

I love you guys! Remember, God loves you SO much and can satisfy our hearts in ways that no human being or anything else ever can! seek Him first :)

Love, Jess 


  1. This is some really great encouragement for anyone out there waiting for anything- for marriage, for a child, for a dream in their heart to be realized. Being satisfied in the present, while longing for the future is a really interesting and challenging place to be. The art of patience and perseverance is a vital lesson to learn- we will always be in a waiting season for one thing or another in life. Thanks for sharing this- even though I've been married a few years now- it's a great reminder of the peace we can have while waiting. P.S. I had my fair share of lonely nights too! My advice is to develop your gifts and talents as much as you can in this season- having your own passions and dreams is a huge plus in a marriage!

  2. Yes, I can totally relate! I'm 27 & never had a boyfriend. Yes, really. So, I definitely know lonely nights. Of course, shopping comes to mind when there's nothing to do on the weekend, but retail therapy isn't really the most healthy option {bummer}. I like to work on things I enjoy like crafting, decorating, reading, & singing songs to God {all by my lonesome}. I also try to go on what I call "God dates" every so often, where I go somewhere {usually in nature} & just have quiet time with God & pour out my heart, hopes, dreams, & wishes to Him & ask for His grace, strength, & will for my life. It's tough - okay, really tough sometimes, but God knows best {like you said}, & I certainly don't want to look back on my life & wonder why I didn't fully live in my single years. It's time to get up & do & not just sit & wait for life to begin {cue Rapunzel singing here}... Now is when your life begins! Carpe diem!
    P.S.: I really want to go on some mission trips some time in the near future, too {I've never been on one before}. I think that would be an amazing use of singlehood.
    Love & Encouragement,
    P.P.S.: You will make it through & God truly is enough {no matter what the world may say}. =)

  3. I'm with you, sister. Being 23 and single is tough! But you're so right: God already has a plan established for us, and we have to fight constantly by His grace and with His strength to submit to that. I spend a lot of my free time right now reading and writing. I'd love to start exploring the area I live in more, in order to break the routine that's so easy to develop when the only person you have to worry about is yourself.

  4. Oh man, can I relate! Sometimes Weekend nights especially I think can be rough. I dated a really great guy for almost 8 months before he decided he wasn't really interested in me anymore. That was the only guy I have ever dated and so going from those sweet talks on the porch swing and bike rides and hand holding to have it gone all of a sudden. For me, it makes being single that much harder because I know what I am missing, and I strongly desire marriage and kiddos. I'm trying to branch beyond my current circle of friends because of the lack of marital potentials. I don't do the best at it, but I do try to maximize my single years by reading to learn how to do knew things or just about stuff, traveling, having adventures with friends, biking, hiking, running, trying new recipes. Some times it's hard because there are so many things I'd like to do, but I always think would be so much more fun with a man by my side. ha.

  5. Hi Jess,

    I totally feel where you are coming from. I'm 23 and I have those moments as well. It's so refreshing to know that others who are Christians go through that same struggle as well. But I know the Lord knows what's best for us both and he will give us exactly what we need at the right time. Continue seeking him girl...we may not know each other but through this post I feel like we've known each other forever so if you need someone to talk to about those struggles, I'm here!!

  6. I will be emailing you in reply to this post... I hope it is the encouragement I intend it to be...

    Patterned Love

  7. Nice blog. I am 18 and feel the same way. I wish I was in a relationship where a guy can take me places, love and hang out with me. I thought I was the only one.