When God changed my heart

Hey blog friends! How have you all been? I'm sorry I have been M.I.A. around here, I have just been taking some time to clear my thoughts and really listen to what the Lord is speaking to me through my life right now. I am so thankful because the Lord has truly changed my heart completely from the beginning of summer until now. So much has changed, and there is no better feeling in the world than falling in love with Jesus more and more every day. 

So uhhhh..what to talk about? As I sit here and pray for the Lord to give me wisdom and instruction, my mind is drawing a blank. I feel like I have so much to be thankful for with what the Lord is doing in my life, and I just want to praise Him all the time. It's a great feeling.

God revealed to me at the beginning of this summer that fear is something I struggle with a lot. My biggest fear is rejection, and this is because of some things that have happened with my old friends of the past. Along with rejection, my other big fears are simply for things to go wrong in my life. I either fear the worst of the worst happening, or I fear that just bad things will happen in my life in general. Whenever I think this way, my mind is in shambles, and suddenly God feels very distant. 

Although I have improved so much in this area of my walk with God since the beginning of the summer, I still struggle with it. It is getting better, but I am still weak. This summer has been such a humbling experience as I am reminded that the Lord truly holds every ounce of my strength. Without Him, I would lose every battle. Without Him, I wouldn't have any motivation left to keep going. 

Along with this situation being very humbling, I wont lie, it has been quite frustrating as well. Some days I just wish I was more far ahead in my transformation process. It is during these hard times that I hear the Lord speak gently into my heart: "Not yet Jessica, but soon. Trust me." God encourages my heart so much by helping me to recognize how far I have come. I realized today how uncomfortable I instantly become whenever my mind begins to shift into fearful thinking. At the beginning of the summer, I was so used to thinking that way that I didn't even realize there was anything wrong with my thinking pattern. However today, things are very different. In just 2 short months, the Lord has restored my mind and given me the strength to resist any thoughts that are not of Him. 

I think its easy for the each of us to focus more on how far we have left to go, instead of focusing on how far we have come in our walks with God. At least thats how it goes for me anyway. I should be praising God constantly for all that He's done in my life at this point, but instead I find it easier sometimes to complain and wish that He were working things out differently. How in my right mind could I look back on this past summer and NOT be full of praise through acknowledging the drastic changes the Lord has done with my heart?

 It's amazing that God loves the each of us enough to care about working on the little things within our lives. We don't have to be lying in a hospital bed in order for God to pay any attention to us. A lot of the time our biggest need for God simply comes from the lingering pain within our hearts. If God sees some kind of wall built up in my heart that is prohibiting me from experiencing His true character, He will do whatever necessary to break down that wall so I can know His love for me in full measure. I feel so loved knowing that God loved me enough to spend this entire summer working simply on my heart.  Thank you Jesus, I love you Lord.

"The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

In what ways has the Lord worked on your guys hearts this summer? Is it easy for you to fall into a routine of complaining to God instead of praising Him? In what ways do you think you can make an effort to start praising God more? 

Love always, Jess

Faith is hard.

Hey friends!

Happy Monday! Mondays aren't normally everyones favorite day of the week, so I try to be a little extra cheerful on these days with everyone that I am connecting with. This weekend was so much fun, and I am already sad that it is over. I was blessed on Saturday to go berry picking with my friend Allison who blogs over at A God Fashioned Life please click here and go check out her blog it is awesome AND she always has some inspiring thoughts to share! {Not to mention she has wonderful style!}

Allison and I headed out at about 9:30 to go berry picking, and it was so wonderful because we could literally SMELL the sweet berries as we got closer and closer to the farm that we were picking berries at. The smell was super strong and sweet smelling, we were in heaven! I picked about a half a bowl of berries and then later made a berry crisp with all of the berries that I picked. Allison made a berry crisp as well, and I'm sure her berry crisp was bigger than mine because she picked an entire bowl of berries instead of just a half like I did. My berry crisp was delicious! Below are a few pictures just to share with you guys, they are from my whole weekend that I initially posted on my instagram page!

below: The beautiful farm Allison and I went berry picking at on Saturday

below: pondering scripture over the weekend and reflecting on the truth that God will never let us down when we put our hope in Him-He always exceeds our expectations

below: my new kitten friend that I made at my first day of volunteering at the humane society on Friday! She kept trying to chew on my camera strap.

I can't help but overflow praise when I think about how much Jesus has blessed me with in these past few months. As I was reading Psalm 34:5 {the scripture I posted a photo of above} over the weekend, I thought about how many times the enemy tried to get at me when I was at my weakest point in waiting to God to provide me with Christian roommates to live with. I thought about how although I had to fight a great amount to get to where I am today, it has been so incredibly worth it, every teensy-weensy bit of it. When the enemy whispered in my ear: "So wheres God now? Looks like He's too late!" I whispered right back at Him that my God was going to provide and that He had a plan and a future for my life that was greater than I could ever imagine. And God did have a plan for me, because shortly after that I was blessed with the perfect place to live with along with the most wonderful of roommates. 

The bottom line though is that faith is hard. There is no way around that truth. It takes courage to trust God for everything that we need in our lives. I am realizing though that after every trial in my life with God, I am able to feel my relationship with Him reach a whole different level that I have never experienced before. That my friends, makes every part of my journey with faith worth the struggle. After all, what great story is there that is told without struggle? What need for God is there without the risks and leaps of faith that He calls us each to take? God knows me better than I know myself, and I am willing to continue to take any leap of faith necessary so that He can bless me beyond me belief in my life. Although some of the phases of life that God guides me in may be uncomfortable, but I am learning that God often calls us to live a life that is out of our comfort zones. Undeserving and sinful, yet God still loves me and chooses to give me life. Thanks Jesus!

I love you guys!

Love always, Jess