The ONE thing I hate

Hi lovelies!

     I hope that everyone is having a good day so far. I cannot believe that today is officially October 1st!

This has honestly been a really interesting phase of life for me. After finishing graduate school in June, I am still in the process of looking for a career type of job. I am hoping to find a job at the local University in town, in the field of communication. I have applied to many many jobs, and I am still waiting to hear back from a big chunk of them.  I'm content, but at times I struggle and question with wondering what is NEXT. I really feel like God is calling to keep pursuing youth ministry where I live, which is a big reason why I have decided to stay where I am. If you think of me, could you please pray that God would open career doors of opportunity for me? Thank you :)

Anyways, Today I wanted to talk to you guys about the one thing that I truly hate: EVILNESS. aka SATAN himself. 

"Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hands of the wicked." Psalm 97:10 

This probably isn't any news to you guys, that we HAVE an enemy. However, before I was a Christian, I didn't acknowledge the enemy, or his presence in my life. I didn't realize that Satan had one goal for my life: To destroy it. I didn't realize that he wanted to convince me that life was meant for living for myself, and not Jesus. I didn't realize that he was seeking to continuously lead me away from understanding my true value in Christ by convincing me that I could find my purpose in boys/relationships, other people, sex, money, alcohol, and more. 

And that is why forever convinced was started. To lead people closer to Jesus. To let them know that they are LOVED. For them to know that the God of the universe wants an authentic relationship with them. I don't want Satan to have power over anyone's life any longer. My hope and goal is for everyone coming across this blog who doesn't know Christ to submit to Jesus, so that way they will be free from the power of evil in their lives. 

I love you guys!

In Christ, 

Jessica 

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Finding Joy in Christian Singleness

Two years ago, I wrote a post titled "The Struggle in Being Single," on my blog. As I was doing some research on my blog logistics the other day, I found out that this was my most viewed post of all time, generating over 9,000 views.

Wow.

That is a LOT of views. I wish I could take the credit, but I can't. I owe it all to Jesus. It has been and will always be His words that speak through me on this blog. Anyway, in light of knowing that the topic of Christian singleness is something that people are interested in reading about, and also something that a lot of Christian singles struggle with, I thought that it would be a good idea to a little recap on how I have been able to find true joy in my singleness.

Does this mean that I no longer struggle with being single? Absoutely not. One of my biggest desires in this life is to be married and to have a family. There are times when I question if I will ever meet "the guy." Then I am reminded of God's faithfulness and how He sees the desires of my heart.  I just finally came to a place in my faith where I realized that God would want me to EMBRACE this season of singleness, instead of just enduring it. I was tired of believing the lie that I couldn't find joy in my singleness. 

So that is why I decided to write this blog post, my lovely friends. For you to know that it is MORE than possible to find joy in your singleness. I am going to list below some specific ways that I have found joy in my singleness, which I believe the each of you will be able to apply to your own walks with Christ and that will also help you to find joy as well (if you are still single and wanting to be in a relationship).

#1: A huge way that I have found JOY in my singleness is through becoming more involved with youth ministry, AKA serving others! In February of this year, God put it on my heart to become involved with the youth ministry at my local Church. I was a little hesitant at first since I was mostly new to the church, but as time went on, it couldn't have been more clear that this was right where God wanted me. I find so much JOY through leading each one of the kids, a kind of joy that I have never experienced before. And who knows, this is something that I may not have had the time to experience if I were in a relationship. If you currently aren't serving anywhere, I would encourage you to pray and ask God to guide you to serve somewhere. I believe that He has somewhere specific for you that you will truly LOVE and that will also bring a lot of joy into your life! Plus, ministry is a GREAT place to meet a cute Christian boy, just saying ;) (I sure wouldn't mind meeting my future husband in ministry!)

***Pictured below are a couple of photos from my youth ministry adventures this summer! :) We went on an excursion to the beach, took some of our girls to girls camp for a weekend, and also went on our annual missions trip***

# 2: Next, another key way that I have found joy in my singleness is through pursuing other hobbies (besides church ministry) that I am passionate about. Growing up, I always loved to write. It was something I just throughly enjoyed doing. I had this wolf journal (don't ask) where I would write out my thoughts, dreams, emotions, and more. Later on in life when I accepted Christ into my heart and became a Christian, the Holy Spirit invaded my mind with new dreams, and also gave me an entirely different outlook on life. It was shortly after that when I decided to start my own personal blog, to write about my faith and what God was teaching me throughout my life.  Flash forward three years later, and blogging still remains one of my favorite hobbies to this day! If you don't have a hobby, I suggest that you talk to God about it and ask Him to reveal to you what YOU are passionate about. What are you good at? What do you have fun doing? Something that really helped me to figure out what kinds of hobbies that I wanted to pursue was to ask my friends for suggestions or ideas. It is your friends jobs to build you up with who you are in Christ, and I am sure that they would be more than happy to tell you what they think you are good at! I am so thankful for all of the encouragement that I received from my friends to start this blog. They really played a huge role in motivating me to get things going. 

***Check out below the FIRST video I ever made when I started my blog! (me introducing myself). Haha. I was such a little baby! This was about three years ago!***

#3: I have also found joy in my singleness through being intentional and pursuing strong friendships with other Christian woman. Some of these strong Christian friends of mine are still single, and some of them are in relationships. Either way, the time of fellowship that I have with them is such a blessing. I like to think of this way: when I am in a relationship with somebody one day, I won't have nearly as much of free time as I do now to spend time with my close friends. My friends and I have so much fun together just doing random things, and also talking about what God is doing in our lives. Sometimes we will just go on random trips together, or go see a movie together. This summer I helped out with one of my friend's wedding photography business and went to nine different weddings, and I also saw Toby Mac, For King and Country, Blanca, Danny Gokey, and Kutless live in concert with another one of my friends. These experiences with my friends brought so much JOY into my life. If you don't have strong Christian friends, I encourage you to join a small group at your church or somewhere else where you can develop these kinds of friendships. Pray for God to bring these kinds of friends into your life, because He wants to! 

***pictured below are some of the fun things that I did with my friends this summer!***

#4: Finally, the last and most important way that I have found joy in my singleness is through my relationship with JESUS! :) It has and will always be God's gentle and encouraging voice that has guided me every step of the way throughout my life. It is HIS wisdom that has led me to make important decisions such whether or not I should keep pursuing a relationship with a certain guy. It is HIS presence in my life that motivates me to keep dreaming, keep loving, and keep going. If I didn't have a relationship with God, life would truly be meaningless. He is my hope. 

(photo via pinterest)

That is it, friends! It can certainly be hard for me sometimes being single, especially because I have such a strong desire to be in a relationship with a God-fearing man. But because I have a relationship with God and I am seeking Him above all else, I know that the best is yet to come. I know that whoever I end up marrying will be worth the wait because he will be from the Lord. I have dated some people in the past who I had to turn down because I honestly just didn't feel a peace from God about dating them. Bottom line: SEEK JESUS first. He will guide you in your relationships because He is our almighty counselor (Isaiah 9:6)! He wants to exceed your expectations with whoever you end up marrying!

I love you guys!

What types of experiences or activities that you are involved in have helped you to find joy in your singleness? I would love to hear! COMMENT BELOW! :)

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Dreamin' big with Jesus

Hi blog friends!
I hope that everyone had a good weekend! I am writing this post on Sunday afternoon, and it seriously the most beautiful sunny day outside! I'm so thankful for the sunshine. This weekend I had the opportunity to go visit one of my close friends Maria at her college in a town nearby. It was a blessed time of fellowship and simply just encouraging one another with who we are in Christ! Here is a picture during our time together :)

One thing that Maria and I talked a lot about this weekend was our God-given dreams. I have always heard of the quote "If your dreams don't scare you, there not big enough," but I didn't actually understand it until this weekend. As Maria and I sat down in conversation, she began to share with me the beautiful new dream that God had recently put on her heart. It was in that moment as Maria shared her dream with me that I realized that I had my own God-given dream as well. However for some reason, I was almost scared to share my dream out loud. It was just SO BIG. But I knew that I wanted it. 
I also knew that my dream was from the Holy Spirit, because my heart leaped with joy at the thought of it actually happening. At the same time however, my dream scared the heck out of me. For a second I wasn't even sure it was attainable, but then as I sat there and prayed about it for a moment, I realized that my dream is attainable by the power of Christ! For God says in His word,
"With God, all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
And in case your wondering what my dream is....I'd be happy to share it with you. My dream is to make "Forever Convinced" into a national moment. I hope that one day my blog will reach millions,  and that I will eventually be able turn what I do on here into a full-tim job. I want to reach as many people as I can through my blog, so that way that anyone who doesn't know God who comes to my page could possibly come to know Him and understand that He loves them and wants a relationship with them. Would you join me in prayer for Forever Convinced? Would you pray that by the power of Christ hearts who do not have a relationship with God would be brought to this page? Would you also pray that God would give me the strength, motivation, and determination to turn this blog into something bigger than I could have ever imagined? Would you pray for God's hand of blessing on every part of my page?
Thank you so much.
Now it is YOUR turn. I would love for you to share your God given dream in a comment below, so that way I can be praying for you about your beautiful dream. I believe that with God, all things are possible, and most importantly. God wants us to DREAM BIG.

discontentment in my singleness

Hi blog friends! How are the each of you doing? I really am missing this little blog of mine lately. This has been such an exciting season for me in my life, with so many new changes and experiences. 

Today however, I didn't come here to talk to you about my teaching experiences so far or anything like that. I came here to talk with you about why I really don't like being single. In fact, I'm completely open to admitting that If I had to choice given to me by God right now, I would be already married with a family. The closer I get to Jesus, the stronger the desire in my heart becomes to be in a relationship. I read an article the other day from a Christian blogger who I could really relate with on her discussion of singleness. She said, "If the myth were true that God only blesses you with a spouse when you learn to be content in your singleness, than I would have never gotten married, because frankly–I was not okay with a lifetime of singleness. I wanted to be married!"

Thats about how I feel right about now in this stage of my life of being single. The funny thing is too that the closer I get to Jesus, the more opposition I face from the enemy through him trying to do anything he can to make me give up on waiting for God's timing to meet my future spouse. I had the hardest time this week with a situation like this. I'm sure many of you Christian ladies can relate. In one of my classes, there is a very very very attractive guy, who happened to already give me his number and wants to start hanging out right away. I absolutely know without a doubt in my heart that God certainly does not want me hanging out with this guy, because He is not a believer & most importantly is not following Jesus. But it's still down right hard to just say no. There is an overwhelming desire in my heart to just give up and start a relationship with this very attractive guy, but I can't. I know its not what God wants me to do.

I have been in similar situations like this before, but this one honestly is the hardest one yet, and I don't know why. Maybe its because I've become the closest I've ever been to Jesus in my life, and the enemy wants nothing more than to lead me astray. Whatever the reason is for this time around being so hard, I know that I can't give up. I have to stay strong, and trust with my whole heart that God has an amazing, Jesus-loving, attractive husband out there waiting to meet a girl like me.

The author of the article I mentioned previously also said a couple other things about being single that I could really relate with. She said:

"It’s okay to struggle through singleness, but it’s not okay to stop living life because of it." 

"It’s okay to be discontent through singleness, but it’s not okay to let that discontentedness rob us of our very lives."

These are facts that I know to be true. I know that its okay to struggle with being single and to be discontent through this stage in my life, but I also know that I can't allow my discontentment to keep me from living my life.The struggle through my singleness is normal, but its not normal to allow my struggle to become a stronghold.

So my beautiful friends, do you feel the same way I do right now about being single? Let's not give up, and lets keep pressing forward. God has an amazing plan for our lives beyond our imagination, and I can't wait until the very day until I meet my future husband face to face. 

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. if one person falls, the other can reach out and help."

Ecclesiastes. 4:9

Love always, Jess 

P.S.- For those of you wanting to read the article I referenced throughout this post, click HERE!! I promise you'll be encouraged beyond belief. I was truly blessed through reading this post and many others on her webpage. 

The #2 problem with Christianity

"Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

Psalm 139:24

This is a very special verse to me because a lot of the time I will quietly pray it to myself as a way to find out if there is anything that I may be putting in between my relationship with the Lord.  It helps me keep my relationship with God on track, by reminding myself that its completely okay to be honest with God and allow for Him to show me the areas of my walk with Him where I'm slipping up. This is something that I have to do often, because God's the teacher and I'm the student. I'm learning something new from Him everyday.

Last night, I found myself praying this prayer to God once again. It's not that I felt distance from God or anything, instead I simply felt nothing. God's presence was there with me, but the passion I have always typically felt in my relationship with Him was not. The second I tasted God's goodness, I knew I wanted more of it every day for the rest of my life. Now that I have become familiar with God's "taste," its very easy for me to recognize when it is gone or dying down.

God quietly responded to my prayer by letting me know that actually this time I hadn't replaced Him with anything. Instead, I had run away from one of the problems in my life, which had prohibited me from receiving His grace in full measure. I saw a set of risky and unfavorable circumstances in front of me that God was calling me to tackle head on, and I became scared. Instead of responding obediently to what God had called me to do, I ran in the opposite direction. 

"Jessica, how can you ever expect to really know me if you run away from the things I have called you to do, no matter how impossible they may seem?"

I then thought back to all of the times where God has been faithful in my walk with Him, even when I doubted Him a million times. I told the Lord that I was sorry, and asked Him to forgive me for running away from what He had called me to do. The truth is that it was easy to run away. It was easy for me to take the "safe and comfortable route" away from the problem placed in front of me. As I look back on my walk with Jesus though, I am reminded that the majority of the time He has placed me in uncomfortable situations.  I am able to see how much I was able to grow through these experiences, as I relied on His strength more than ever to get me through.

The truth is, if we want God to become something more to us than just a guy we visit on Sundays, then we must accept that the majority of the time He will place us in uncomfortable situations. God will become a lot more real to us in our lives if we make that first step in choosing courage over fear. Although He doesn't promise to take away circumstances in our lives that we may not be in favor of, He does promise that He is with us continuously, & God wants us to trust and believe that that promise from Him is enough. 

Has God called you to do something recently that your afraid of? Are you running away from an area of your life that God wants you to stand firm in? I know I have doubted God and ran away from Him plenty of times, but when I finally decided to pull through and trust Him even in the tough times, I was truly able to experience His love for me. 

Love always, Jess 

when I never believed I'd be "good enough" for God

I don't know about you, but back in the day before I knew Jesus, the Bible seemed like a whole 'lot of nothing to me. As I sat in Sunday school and flipped through the dust filled pages of my own Bible, I realized that I did not feel any type of real life connection to the "ancient" book that was sitting in front of me. I felt like I would never be "holy enough" for God, so what was the point of flipping through this massive book that God Himself had apparently written 2,000 years ago anyway?

You see, the message that was preached to me all throughout my childhood about God was all about working for God's love and favor. According to how the old Jessica used to think about God, I needed get baptized ASAP in order to make myself a better Christian, and I also needed to make sure that I attended church every Sunday for the rest of my life, no excuses, or else God would be mad at me forever. God to me just seemed like an angry man up there in the clouds ordering around those He felt to be "worthy enough" of receiving His love for them.

This was it? I told myself. This was Christianity? No wonder this religion has so many phonies anyway, I thought to myself. God just seemed so distant, and as much as I wanted to know and understand Him more, I didn't know how.  How could I ever match up too all of these perfect Christians around me? That would never happen. I never felt that I would be good enough for God. I figured to myself that instead of trying to become a better Christian,  I would strive to build my social status and make new friends. I knew that I received a lot of happiness from making new friends in my life, and I knew that I absolutely loved people. God however, and that whole "Christianity" thing, was just not working out for me.

Although there was nothing wrong for me to have a goal of making new friends in my life, God wasn't at the heart and center of it all, making me doomed for failure. As time went on and I eventually was hurt by some of my friends of the past, I began to become so wounded and helpless, and I wondered if there was anyone out there who could heal my heart. This is about when God established His presence in my life so evidently that I was able to finally understand that Christianity in-fact is not a religion. Christianity is not a bunch of rules based on doing things to get better for God. Christianity is all about a relationship with Jesus, and approaching His throne of grace boldly and confidently.

Does this mean we can receive a "hall pass" for every sin in our life and do whatever we want? absolutely not, and I'd say if you are even considering that question, then you really don't love or know Jesus at all. Not to sound harsh or anything, but thats the truth. When you really come to know and love Jesus, you really love Him, and the last thing you want to do is sin against Him intentionally. That's how real and relational God is- it hurts His heart too when we cheat against Him. He becomes your father. The one that you look up to the most. The one who is always there to catch you when you stumble or make a mistake.

So my friends, tired of going to church every Sunday, calling yourself a Christian, and still feeling empty on the inside regardless? It's time to get real with God. It's time to stop doing life your way, and start letting God take over. It's time to see God for who He really is, and start treating Him like the God of the universe as He truly is. After all, how are you ever going to really know God without responding to Him in this way? The Bible says we must come to God like little children (Matthew 18:3). This means, no matter how old you are, or what type of crisis you are in, you must depend on your heavenly father for each and every circumstance...just as a little child does with his father. 

Love always, Jess


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VLOG!: How I overcame depression & anxiety with Jesus

Depression is darkness. Depression is not light. Depression is nowhere near the presence of God.

Depression is the result of leaving God out of the equation. Putting Him second. Forgetting how important it is to maintain a relationship with Him for your entire life. When God gets put second, depression has a way of quickly inserting itself into our lives. 

First depression typically begins with anxiety. You know, those horrible anxious thoughts that terrify you and make you want to run into a corner? That's anxiety. I would know, I used to have anxiety, along with depression.  Watch my video and learn how I overcame anxiety and depression with Jesus's help! and of course, please let me know what you think! I love you all!

Love always, Jess 

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Somethin' New: I'm no longer ashamed of my past

Hey guys!

Hey friends! Today marks my FIFTH post for the summer of something new blog challenge. For those of you don't know what this challenge is, it was set up by my wonderful blog friend Annaliese at Southern Belle in Training, and for this challenge Annaliese, Elle, Jenna,  Michaela, Gina and I will be sharing with you guys something new every Friday for 6 weeks! This week, I wanted to share with you guys both how this was the first summer that I decided not to run away from my past anymore. I had the courage to share my struggle in having sex before marriage and before knowing Jesus, and tomorrow I am going to share how I overcame depression and anxiety with Jesus. At the end of this post, I am going to share with you guys some pictures of my lovely new room!

This summer has been new in so many ways. I started volunteering at the humane society, and that has been so much fun. That has always been something I have wanted to but I have never gotten around to doing it. But mostly, this summer has been a huge change because I have had courage to talk about my past, and it is the most freeing feeling. I am no longer ashamed to share my struggle with having sex before marriage, because I see how much hope it gives other Christians who are in the same situation. In fact, I am going to talk a lot more about sex before marriage and how depressed it made me feel. I think its something that is not talked about enough, and that needs to be. Yesterdays post on sex before marriage was officially my most viewed post of all time, wow. Talk about crazy. I am thinking about making a video with my new Canon and sharing my struggle with sex. Also, as I mentioned above, tomorrow I am going to talk about how I overcame depression and anxiety with Jesus, because I know that depression is something that a lot of girls struggle with.

Talk about a "Summer Of Something New!" Friends! Have your summers been full of a lot of new experiences as well? If so, then share with me! I'd love to hear! What do you guys think of me doing videos about topics like sex and depression? Let me know! Now, below are pictures of my new room! Be sure to let me know what you think! :) I absolutely love my new place!

 Need to get around putting a photo in this frame ;)

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giving God my pain

To begin this post: berry picking pictures with Allison from the weekend!

I threw the ball for Marley, laughing to myself as I watched her run after it with such excitement and joy. She's the cutest Labrador ever. 

Then, out out of nowhere, I felt it.

That sinking feeling in my heart. That pain you can't put into words.

A wound from my past that had resurfaced totally out of the blue and un-expectantly from long ago.

I thought this wound was long gone, that somehow, Jesus had "made it disappear." 

But no, somehow, it was still there.

Although from the outside looking in, it may not seem like a big deal it all. After all, its just a situation involving a best friend of the past from high school who out of no where decided to act like I didn't exist one day. 

But, this situation caused me pain. It broke my heart. 

& since I never gave any of this pain to Jesus, it still lies there.

So since that day over the weekend, I have committed to healing this wound in my heart. I'm so tired of running for my past, and wanting to forget about everything that has happened to me. I have realized that is the worst thing I can do. No, Jesus doesn't want me to dwell in the past, but he certainly wants me to grow from it. In order to do that, I must give Him my pain, and choose not to be afraid. 

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-11

Part of me wants to move forward and forget my past, because I don't like thinking about it. I have often wondered why God put me through the things that He did, because I wanted Him to give me a "better story," or a more "cleaned up one." Part of me has never wanted to share my story because I am afraid people will "look down on me" or "feel sorry for me." But today, I've decided that God has called me to share my story, and the more I run from it, the closer He chases me toward it. Theres no getting around it. All I really care about and all that God cares about is that my message gives others hope. That yes, you can experience the darkest pit of depression and anxiety and still be redeemed into a life of joy, hope and peace. And yes, you also can make the mistake of having sex before marriage and be forgiven by Jesus and start all over again. These are two things I have experienced and that I'm sharing with you because I don't want you also to hide your pain of the past from the Lord. I don't want you to be afraid to share your story. Share it, and watch how much hope it brings to the world. 

When I was depressed, I was just plain hopeless. I reached the point of accepting that my life would never again be fulfilling, so it didn't matter what I did anyway with my life. I decided that somehow I would be able to find my answer to fulfillment in other people and things. I was determined to find that fulfillment in people and things. This is why I became involved with drinking in college, sex before marriage, and other things like that. I also had problems with anxiety that were pretty bad as well.

Today? Today I am a different person. I am the opposite of all that above. I am happy, joyful, fulfilled, pure, a new creation...all in Jesus alone. He satisfies me more than anything on this universe. 

"You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
 I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you,
 meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper,
 I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings."

Psalm 63: 5-7

It was only 2 days ago when God brought this pain still lingering in my heart to the front stage. I already feel SO much better, and I can feel something beautiful starting in my relationship with Him that I never thought I would experience. I wish it didn't take me so long to figure out both admitting to Him my pain and also sharing my story is a beautiful thing.

I love you guys!

Click HERE to like Forever Convinced on Facebook and share my page some love, it needs it!

Love always, Jess

When thanking God is hard: I complain too much.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

a photo I took on a hike earlier this week...Gods country :)

Lately I feel that this summer is going by slower than ever. I am keeping myself as busy as I can, but some  many days feel just that they draaaaaag along. I think the only reason I feel this way is because I just want it to be Fall already, which sounds crazy because that means school...but honestly I am really excited for the Fall and also to begin graduate school. Yeah, call me a nerd, I'm proud of it! ;). I just can't believe that I will have my own class of students. I am so much looking forward to teaching at my University. Anyway though, the main thing that I don't like about this summer is how flexible my schedule is. It honestly scares me how much more free time I have than usual to do things, because I like being busy.

The hardest part for me this summer has been with just learning to thank God continually in this season of my life. Right now, because of my circumstances, I want to do anything but thank God. It sounds horrible, but it is the honest truth and I'm just a sinner saved by grace. God has done so much for me, yet I am just like those stubborn Israelites who kept complaining to God time after time, even though He was always faithful to them and provided their every need. I find myself coming to God with a complaining heart, asking him "what the heck He's doing" and basically just wanting things to be going differently in my life. Deep down I know this a sin and I should be coming to Him with a thankful heart. My list of complaints to God is pathetic and I'm asking God to forgive me right now. Lord, please help me to come to you continually with a thankful heart, instead of a stubborn one. Forgive me for doubting you in so many ways this summer and being such a complainer. Help me to always be thankful, no matter what is going on around me.

 I wish I could just learn to be present in the moment, but I feel like sometimes I don't know how to do that or maybe I am just really bad at it. My mind tends to race ahead into the future a lot of the time. Maybe God has placed me in this situation for the summer so I'll learn how to focus on Him and be in the moment a lot more. Last weekend was a real struggle for me because I felt like I had to intentionally plan out things to do with others to keep myself busy. I guess I am just not used to that kind of lifestyle. I am used to having an automatic busy schedule right in front of me, and then going from there. I feel the weekend is when the enemy really gets in my head and reminds me that I'm still single and "how much better it would be to have a boyfriend with me right now." I definitely have really been missing and desiring for my future man to be with me this summer during the nights on these summer weekends where I have been alone. I've honestly have become pretty upset about it, and I have cried a few times. (Especially when the biggest spider I have ever seen crawled into my house the other night, I needed male assistance ASAP!) Maybe this weekend will be the perfect time for me to write my future husband a couple of those letters that I was talking to you guys about doing. This is just a phase of life I'm in, and I have to remind myself that good things are ahead.

 So, to end this post, thanks Jesus. Thank you for giving me so much extra time this summer to understand more of the woman God created me to be, and to pursue deeper friendships with others. Thank you for my wonderful family, my beautiful home, the opportunity to go to graduate school, the new friendships I have made this year, and much more.

Are you guys in a situation right now this summer where your really struggling with being patient as well? Are you wishing things to be going differently in your life? Having those lonely single nights? Join me, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and the entire season of the Bachelorette...Just kidding. But seriously though, I love hearing what you guys have to say on this topic of patience! Its encouraging to read every single comment that I receive from the each of you.

We just gotta keep trusting God that He is ALWAYS good and that wonderful things are ahead! He never breaks His promises, remember that.

Love always, 

Jess

Ps- My blog's Facebook page is could use some love from you guys! Click HERE to like Forever Convinced on Facebook!

Faith is hard.

Hey friends!

Happy Monday! Mondays aren't normally everyones favorite day of the week, so I try to be a little extra cheerful on these days with everyone that I am connecting with. This weekend was so much fun, and I am already sad that it is over. I was blessed on Saturday to go berry picking with my friend Allison who blogs over at A God Fashioned Life please click here and go check out her blog it is awesome AND she always has some inspiring thoughts to share! {Not to mention she has wonderful style!}

Allison and I headed out at about 9:30 to go berry picking, and it was so wonderful because we could literally SMELL the sweet berries as we got closer and closer to the farm that we were picking berries at. The smell was super strong and sweet smelling, we were in heaven! I picked about a half a bowl of berries and then later made a berry crisp with all of the berries that I picked. Allison made a berry crisp as well, and I'm sure her berry crisp was bigger than mine because she picked an entire bowl of berries instead of just a half like I did. My berry crisp was delicious! Below are a few pictures just to share with you guys, they are from my whole weekend that I initially posted on my instagram page!

below: The beautiful farm Allison and I went berry picking at on Saturday

below: pondering scripture over the weekend and reflecting on the truth that God will never let us down when we put our hope in Him-He always exceeds our expectations

below: my new kitten friend that I made at my first day of volunteering at the humane society on Friday! She kept trying to chew on my camera strap.

I can't help but overflow praise when I think about how much Jesus has blessed me with in these past few months. As I was reading Psalm 34:5 {the scripture I posted a photo of above} over the weekend, I thought about how many times the enemy tried to get at me when I was at my weakest point in waiting to God to provide me with Christian roommates to live with. I thought about how although I had to fight a great amount to get to where I am today, it has been so incredibly worth it, every teensy-weensy bit of it. When the enemy whispered in my ear: "So wheres God now? Looks like He's too late!" I whispered right back at Him that my God was going to provide and that He had a plan and a future for my life that was greater than I could ever imagine. And God did have a plan for me, because shortly after that I was blessed with the perfect place to live with along with the most wonderful of roommates. 

The bottom line though is that faith is hard. There is no way around that truth. It takes courage to trust God for everything that we need in our lives. I am realizing though that after every trial in my life with God, I am able to feel my relationship with Him reach a whole different level that I have never experienced before. That my friends, makes every part of my journey with faith worth the struggle. After all, what great story is there that is told without struggle? What need for God is there without the risks and leaps of faith that He calls us each to take? God knows me better than I know myself, and I am willing to continue to take any leap of faith necessary so that He can bless me beyond me belief in my life. Although some of the phases of life that God guides me in may be uncomfortable, but I am learning that God often calls us to live a life that is out of our comfort zones. Undeserving and sinful, yet God still loves me and chooses to give me life. Thanks Jesus!

I love you guys!

Love always, Jess 

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Happy Thursday Everyone!

     I am happy to announce I managed to FINALLY figure out how to add the "follower" gadget to my page. Whew, this blogging stuff is complicated! I'm just glad it didn't take me over 2 months to figure out. Haha. I feel the Lord calling me to blog more and more, and I am thrilled! I am super passionate about blogging, I don't know what it is. I love to write, especially about what the Lord is doing in my life.

     Yesterday, I went to go pick up my cap and gown for my college graduation this June. What a surreal feeling it was, let me tell you. These past four years have been full of such significant changes in my life. So much growth, and so much more growth to come. I am thankful to the place where God has brought me. I am also excited to see what the future holds, however that doesn't mean that I'm not scared about the future. In fact, I am terrified when I think that far in advance, but thankfully the Lord is there to remind me to keep my mindset in the PRESENT. That is honestly the only way I can ever have peace in my life.  

      Right now I am in period of waiting in my life. I am waiting to see what the answer is from the Lord on what to do next year. I am waiting on answers on him if I should go to graduate school or not, I am waiting on him to see who he wants me to live with, I am waiting on him for his direction in new relationships, I am waiting on him to continue to heal me in all those little places where he still hasn't touched me yet. I wanted to share with y'all some scripture on waiting on the Lord and why this is such a significant part in our relationship with Him. More specifically, waiting on Him with patience. Waiting on Him with trust. Waiting on Him with contentment.

A couple of my favorite Bible verses about waiting on the LORD: "Wait patiently for the Lord.

    Be brave and courageous.

    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." 

Psalm 27:14

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

     They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31 

      I love these verses because they speak so much truth. When I'm waiting on the Lord, I should be strong and courageous and trust that He will provide for all of my needs. I fail to do this a lot of the time, but I know that at the end of the day that God will provide for me. Sometimes my faith in the Lord my waver, but that doesn't mean He has given up on me. He is always there, encouraging me to come back into His loving arms. I have SO much more to learn from Him. That is how it is always going to be in my relationship with the Lord. Growing, Learning, Becoming more like the one who saved me.

     What are some of the things you struggle with in trusting God to provide for you? Have you confessed this to Him and given Him the chance to speak some truth into your life? Speak, He's listening!

      My FAVORITE song right now? This one!

  It's soooo good! I can't stop playing it.

     My favorite show right now? Well here's a little hint...:D

      What can I say, I'm addicted and it's hilarious!

         Hope you all have a beautiful rest of your day today!

       xoxo

                                                                               

praying for your FUTURE MAN. [the power of prayer]

     Hey friends! I'm so glad to be back in the blogging scene. Finals week for college was a killer, but my exams are over now and I'm thrilled to be back & finally just sit and share my thoughts with each of you today.

     God has been putting on my heart this past week a lot of thoughts about my future husband. Where is he? Who is he? Have I already met him yet? When will I meet him? What if I'm not ready for a relationship when I meet him? What if I don't know how to manage a relationship with Jesus and a boyfriend at the same time when he does come along?

     I don't know about you all, but these are so many questions that run through my head on a daily basis about him. Like, I hope I'm not a crazy person...please tell me this is normal at my age. The more I thought about it though and read some scripture in my Bible, I realized that God has always intended for me to marry someone, and he has put this desire on my heart to be with a man forever for a reason. Genesis 3:18 says: "Then the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just and right for him."

      As you can see, God wants us to be married. He wants us to find the love of our lives, that special someone he planned for us to be with long ago. God has the perfect match for you and me, but I'm realizing for myself that this godly man won't just come out of nowhere to me unless I PRAY.

      Prayer...what do you think about it? When I first became I Christian, I'm going to be completely honest with you, I doubted prayer. I doubted God was really listening. I believed in God and knew He was real, but I just couldn't imagine The God of the universe really cared enough to listen to me. I had to get to the point in my life where I was completely broken so God could cry out to me, "Are you ready to listen to me now, Jessica? I never intended for you to be put through all of this harm. Confess your sins and come back to me." From here I finally began to listen to Him, I finally began to confess, and it was here in my life where I finally began to see a way out of the darkness. There was finally a light at the end of my dark tunnel. There was no longer any more endless hope for me. Now I can say that with full confidence that God's response to our prayer to Him is: Comforting. Peaceful. BEYOND REAL. Beautiful. Encouraging. Amazing.

     So here it goes, I wanted to share with you ladies some ideas of mine on praying for your future husbands. I hope it encourages you. I hope it helps you to understand even more that God does have a special prince planned out for you. & Before I begin, I just wanted to say that these ideas of mine are not intended only for the single ladies, but also the married ones, the dating ones, the engaged ones, etc.

1) You pray for his heart.

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Praying for your mans heart is IMPORTANT. Our man's hearts are so very special and need to be prayed for just as badly as our own. We often walk into situations where we end up getting hurt because we didn't ask God to give us the wisdom for protecting our hearts. Well, it's the same for men. Pray that God would guard their hearts, Pray that they would give their hearts to God EVERY day, Pray that they would always be seeking the Lord's heart until the time comes when God allows for them to pursue yours with tender care.

2) You pray that he would follow the Holy Spirit's leading in his life.

Another big one that I felt like I should share with you is this. From my own personal experience, following the Holy Spirit in my life has lead me to joy and peace, despite the pain it sometimes has taken for me to get there. This is why it's so important to pray for your man to follow the holy spirit's leading in his life as well. God's spirit speaks to each of us and guide us in all that we do, according to John 14:26 which says: "But the Advocate, the Holy spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind to you everything that I have said to you." Pray that your man would listen to the spirit's leading in EVERY part of his life, not just some parts. Pray that God wouldn't let the enemy lead him astray and get off track. Pray that he wouldn't allow the spirit to condemn him (because that's not from God) but only to CONVICT him. Conviction reveals us the truth we need to understand, condemnation tears us down.

3) You pray that he would love Jesus with all of his heart, mind, and soul, more than he could ever love you.

Sounds cray, right? Nope not at all! Some of you are probably thinking: "But don't I want my man to love ME with his whole heart?" Nope, you sure don't. I say this because if your man truly loves the Lord, his love for you will reflect his love for Jesus, which will be better than you ever imagined. God must be in the center of our relationships in order for them to be everything we have ever wanted them to be. God completely filled my old empty & broken heart with His unconditional love, which allowed for me to understand that NO man can ever love me in the way that He loves me. As much as I want an awesome Jesus-loving husband someday, I'll always want Jesus more. That's why I think it's so important to pray for our future men to love Jesus with all of their heart, mind, and soul. (Luke 10:27) Pray that God will always be first in their day-day-life, Pray that they would be able to understand the importance of quiet time with the Lord EVERY day, Pray that their love for the Lord would be so evident and strong that it would overflow into your own relationship with each other. Ephesians 5:25 says: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." In other words, pray that your man's love for you would be similar to how much he loves Jesus.

4) You pray that he would surround himself with godly friends who keep him accountable

I have learned in the past year how important my Christian friendship are more than ever. These are the friends who keep me accountable of my actions, call me out on my sin, pray for me, watch out for me,and love me. Wouldn't you want your man to be surrounding himself with friends like these as well? After all, 1 Corinthians 15:33 says: "Do not be mislead, bad company leads to bad character." Pray that your man would surround himself with godly friends who keep him accountable of his actions. Pray that he would seek God's wisdom above all else when building new relationships. Pray that he would be able to maintain, encourage, the new godly friends that come into his life.

5) Pray that you would both meet when your READY, in God's timing.

Ah yes. I'll be 100% honest with you guys, this is the part that might be the hardest for myself. I often find myself creating fairy tale romances in my head the second I spot a cute Christian boy at church. Yep, I just admitted that. But hey, were only human. Lately God has been really telling me lately just to be patient and WAIT. He's been reminding how important it is that my future husband is brought into my life when both him and I are ready to meet each other. Pray that both you and your man would be completely ready for a relationship together when God brings him into your life. Pray that his heart would be ready to take care of yours when you meet. Pray that he is patient enough when pursuing you so that he treats you respectfully, generously, unselfishly, and lovingly.

Q&A Time!

What if I don't know if a boy I am starting to really like is "the one?" How do I know if it's God's will or I'm moving things too fast?

Gosh. there have been quite a few times in the past where in my relationships I totally jumped into things with a new guy way too fast, without talking about God with it first. Then whuddya know? I got hurt. I wish I could help you understand the importance for you to bring whatever situation you are currently in with a boy to God first and ask for His approval. For me, Talking with God about a new guy in my life is a daily conversation. I have to remind myself each day to tell God that if this new guy isn't in His will for me, then the He should take him out of my life and set me right back on his perfect plan for my life. So yes my lovely ladies, put God first. Not only in all the big things, but even the itsy bitsy things. (God wants to be THAT intimate with you, I promise.) Be prepared for anything to happen, knowing God works in mysterious ways. If you find out a new guy you've been seeing isn't interested in you anymore, don't allow for yourself to get too upset, as hard as that is to do. (Trust me, I KNOW. I've been hurt. It's painful.) But this truly just means that God has a better guy for you. After all, God wants you to be with someone who brings out the absolute BEST in you. You deserve to be treated like a princess.

Love ya'll! Happy Sunday!