"Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
This is a very special verse to me because a lot of the time I will quietly pray it to myself as a way to find out if there is anything that I may be putting in between my relationship with the Lord. It helps me keep my relationship with God on track, by reminding myself that its completely okay to be honest with God and allow for Him to show me the areas of my walk with Him where I'm slipping up. This is something that I have to do often, because God's the teacher and I'm the student. I'm learning something new from Him everyday.
Last night, I found myself praying this prayer to God once again. It's not that I felt distance from God or anything, instead I simply felt nothing. God's presence was there with me, but the passion I have always typically felt in my relationship with Him was not. The second I tasted God's goodness, I knew I wanted more of it every day for the rest of my life. Now that I have become familiar with God's "taste," its very easy for me to recognize when it is gone or dying down.
God quietly responded to my prayer by letting me know that actually this time I hadn't replaced Him with anything. Instead, I had run away from one of the problems in my life, which had prohibited me from receiving His grace in full measure. I saw a set of risky and unfavorable circumstances in front of me that God was calling me to tackle head on, and I became scared. Instead of responding obediently to what God had called me to do, I ran in the opposite direction.
"Jessica, how can you ever expect to really know me if you run away from the things I have called you to do, no matter how impossible they may seem?"
I then thought back to all of the times where God has been faithful in my walk with Him, even when I doubted Him a million times. I told the Lord that I was sorry, and asked Him to forgive me for running away from what He had called me to do. The truth is that it was easy to run away. It was easy for me to take the "safe and comfortable route" away from the problem placed in front of me. As I look back on my walk with Jesus though, I am reminded that the majority of the time He has placed me in uncomfortable situations. I am able to see how much I was able to grow through these experiences, as I relied on His strength more than ever to get me through.
The truth is, if we want God to become something more to us than just a guy we visit on Sundays, then we must accept that the majority of the time He will place us in uncomfortable situations. God will become a lot more real to us in our lives if we make that first step in choosing courage over fear. Although He doesn't promise to take away circumstances in our lives that we may not be in favor of, He does promise that He is with us continuously, & God wants us to trust and believe that that promise from Him is enough.
Has God called you to do something recently that your afraid of? Are you running away from an area of your life that God wants you to stand firm in? I know I have doubted God and ran away from Him plenty of times, but when I finally decided to pull through and trust Him even in the tough times, I was truly able to experience His love for me.
Love always, Jess